homeinsemination.gay

12 Whoppers I Tell My Kids (And They Totally Buy It)

—

by

Home Insemination Blog
in

pregnant gay couple cartoonhome insemination Kit

You know how kids are—so impressionable and ready to believe anything their parents say. As a mom, I sometimes find myself spinning tall tales just to get through the day. Honestly, I wish time would stand still and let me savor these moments a bit longer. Here are twelve whoppers I tell my little ones… and they actually believe them:

  1. “I’m not repeating myself!” Yeah, right. I say this all the time, even though I know I’ll repeat myself a million times after.
  2. “Alright, we’re headed to the doctor because clearly your hearing is off.” This one usually gets them to finally admit they heard me all along but didn’t want to respond. Gotcha!
  3. “Keep munching on your hair, and you’ll grow a hair tree in your belly.” Sometimes it works, but then I feel guilty when my daughter complains about a stomach ache and mentions the hair tree.
  4. “That’s it! Our trip to the beach is off!” Yeah, like I’m really going to cancel the vacation I’ve been excited about just because you won’t put on your pants.
  5. “Fine, I’ll just call a babysitter, and you can stay home while we go out.” Like I have babysitters on speed dial. Ha!
  6. “Go ahead, skip dinner. Starve if you want!” Sometimes this reverse psychology plays out, although by dinner time, I might actually not care anymore.
  7. “Use fewer paper towels, or the paper towel police will be here soon.” This one backfired when my kid asked, “Is there really a paper towel police?” Oops!
  8. “Wow, that’s a fantastic drawing!” Honestly, it looks like a scribble, but what’s a mom to do?
  9. “Oh no, looks like the ice cream shop is closed today.” This line always avoids a meltdown—win for me!
  10. “Sure, don’t go to school if you don’t want to.” Another reverse psychology move. I wonder how long they’ll stay eager to learn.
  11. “Oops, I forgot my wallet.” I came up with this one to fend off the ice cream truck—seriously, why do they always show up at the park?
  12. “You can play on the iPad for 15 minutes.” But really, that’s just enough time for me to catch up on dinner prep or check emails. An hour later…

If you want more on parenting and home insemination, check out this post for more insights on the tricky world of bringing kids into the picture. For a deeper dive into insemination, Make a Mom has some great resources, and for pregnancy info, the CDC is an excellent go-to.

In summary, we all have our little tricks to navigate parenting, and these playful fibs may just make the journey a bit smoother.

Related Topics: