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At Least 70% of Parenting Is Tough
So, the other day, I was at a swim meet with a couple of fellow coaches. One was the Cool College Nanny (CCN) and the other was a dad of three (DOT) who’s around my age. While we were hanging out on the deck, CCN, who’s only 22, casually asked us, “What percentage of parenting do you think is tough?”
I paused for a moment and replied, “At least 70%.” DOT jumped in with, “But it’s definitely not more than 97.5%.”
CCN looked a bit overwhelmed and said, “Wow, I thought I wanted kids, but now I’m not so sure.” And just like that, DOT and I launched into our obligatory parent pep talk about how that remaining 30% to 2.5% of joy totally makes it all worthwhile.
But upon reflection, I’d like to be more precise. Parenting is like an endurance sport—a never-ending ultra-marathon. It’s physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. There are days when you start counting down to bedtime before the kids even wake up. Honestly, there are days when 97.5% of parenting is an uphill battle.
In fact, some days it feels like 99.9% of it just plain sucks. Like when your tiny baby screams for hours on end for the seventeenth night in a row, or when your toddler decides that smearing poop everywhere is a fun new game. There are gym workouts interrupted by a babysitter bringing you the news that your kid has been screaming for the last seven minutes. And let’s not even talk about those mornings when you’ve had one too many glasses of wine and your kid wakes up way too early.
Or when you’re trying to write something—anything—and there’s a kid yanking on the mouse cord while another is smashing action figures on the keyboard. And when your kid gets sick and doesn’t realize that they’re about to vomit everywhere—yeah, that’s a parenting low point.
Dealing with teenagers can be a whole new level of suck too. When they look you straight in the face and drop a “You’re such a jerk!” or “I can do whatever I want!” it’s hard not to feel defeated. And when some kid at school picks on your child, it’s a helpless feeling. Or when your daughter’s heart gets crushed by a lying jerk—it’s gut-wrenching.
Sometimes you’re just at your wits’ end, counting the days since your last shower and losing it on your kids. Or when you tell your little one to stop doing something and they just smile and do it anyway. And the car ride? No matter how far apart you sit them, they’ll still find a way to annoy each other.
Then there’s that moment when your 14-year-old is late coming home, or when your kids manage to lose yet another pair of goggles. And when you finally get a moment alone with your spouse, and just as things get heated, one of the kids starts coughing like they’re auditioning for a horror movie—it’s enough to make you want to pull your hair out.
But on those really tough days—when it feels like 99.9% of parenting is a grind—there’s that little sliver of joy that makes it all worthwhile. That sweet kiss on the cheek, the hand-holding that lasts just long enough, or watching them peacefully sleep. Seeing their eyes light up when they achieve something or share a laugh with a sibling brings a smile to your face.
Those moments—seeing the world through their innocent eyes at places like Disney World or Christmas—are what make it all worth it. The unsolicited “I love you, Mom,” and the heartfelt “Thanks, Mom” are the gems that make the tough days fade away.
In the end, the hard days will definitely outnumber the good ones, but the good ones? They outweigh the tough ones. And that’s what makes this crazy ride of parenting so incredibly rewarding.
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Summary
Parenting can be an incredibly tough journey, with many days feeling overwhelmingly difficult. Yet, amidst the chaos and challenges, there are precious moments of joy that make it all worthwhile, reminding us why we embrace this wild ride.