Here’s a Bold Approach to Supporting Women When They Share Their Stories

home insemination Kit

Updated: Dec. 19, 2015
Originally Published: Sep. 26, 2014

So, I arrived a bit late to the studio and started sharing my day’s events with my colleagues. Instead of understanding, I was met with skepticism—“Are you sure that happened?” or “Maybe it was just a misunderstanding?” It felt like they didn’t want to believe me. I later posted about my experience on my show’s Facebook page. While I got a lot of support from viewers, some responses echoed the disbelief I faced at work.

Every day, women and people of color encounter this invalidation. We often hear comments like:

• “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
• “Just toughen up.”
• “If you had only…”
• “Look at it as a compliment.”
• “That’s nothing compared to what I went through.”

So, I was excited to come across Anita Lin, a media figure I admire, who highlighted how simple it is to make a change. During her talk at XOXO Fest in Portland, she emphasized a powerful point: “One of the most radical things you can do is to actually believe women when they talk about their experiences.”

Can you imagine? Just believing someone when they share what they’ve faced. We tend to accept good news as truth without question, but we need to extend that same courtesy to experiences that are not so positive.

I once dated a guy who shrugged off a serious harassment case by saying, “Women exaggerate those things.” Though I’ve had my own share of being pulled over—twice without incident—it doesn’t compare to real trauma, but we often see a pattern of dismissal that connects domestic abuse, racial bias, and daily micro-aggressions: Disbelief. “You’re overreacting.”

It’s empowering to see how women and minorities can create a loud online voice that leads to change. If you’re hesitant to join in, remember you have immense power every day: the power to believe—and that matters.

Let me share a quick story about my commute through Washington Heights. One morning in 2008, as I was coming off the Palisades, I noticed three cars pulled over. To my right was a van with a Latino driver, and on my left was a sedan with another person of color. After letting a car driven by a white man pass, the police officer made eye contact with me and waved me over.

“Where are you from?” he demanded, leaning into my window. I replied, “I’m from Manhattan,” trying to sound professional. “Actually, I host a show on CNBC. Can I show you my ID?” He took it, handed it back without a word, and waved me on.

I drove away feeling shaky and furious. I realized I had been part of a mistaken identity sweep. Was it legal? Who knows. Did I worry about the people left behind? Absolutely. Would it have made a difference if my colleagues believed me? For sure.

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In summary, the next time a woman shares her story, remember that belief goes a long way. Let’s work together to create a culture where women are heard and validated.