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How I Felt After Welcoming My First Child
I always dreamed of having a natural childbirth. I enrolled in hypnobirthing classes, chose midwives, and binge-watched all the right documentaries. No early cord cutting for me! I planned to steer clear of pitocin, epidurals, and painkillers. I was determined – I could handle this!
Then, things took a dramatic turn. My little one had a mishap in the womb, pooping and causing distress, which led to an emergency C-section. I knew many women had C-sections, and some even chose them, but I wasn’t prepared for the emotional turmoil that followed. I had envisioned a perfect birth experience, and the reality felt like a harsh blow. I wasn’t ready for the challenges that came after my child was born.
A couple of days post-birth, the flood of congratulations began. Friends without kids offered simple well-wishes like, “Congratulations!” and “Good job, Momma!” But my friends with kids had a different take: “Did you ever think you could love something so much?” “This love will only grow!” and “Welcome to the ride of your life!”
I felt like I was missing something. Why didn’t I feel that overwhelming joy? Was something wrong with me? I looked into my son’s eyes and saw a tiny being who seemed indifferent to me. I was responsible for his happiness, and honestly, he was wreaking havoc on my body. I couldn’t believe it. Tears started flowing, and I found myself crying daily. This wasn’t the blissful experience I had imagined.
Eventually, as the weeks passed, the fog began to lift. I stopped crying as much and gradually moved past my postpartum blues. When I spoke with other mothers, I discovered many had similar feelings. I remember thinking, “Why didn’t anyone warn me?” It turns out that not every new mom feels an instant bond. Some women feel overwhelmed, and that’s completely normal. What an eye-opener!
The narratives surrounding new motherhood often portray two extremes: the blissfully happy mom or the one who’s struggling. But there are so many nuances in between that expecting moms should know about! Yes, pregnant women are often sensitive and hormonal, but new moms are, too – and they’re now responsible for a tiny human. We should be more open about the full range of emotions that come with motherhood. It’s scary, isolating, yet also incredibly rewarding.
So, if you’re a new mom reading this, go easy on yourself. You just created a person! You’re doing an amazing job! Did you ever think you could love someone this much? This journey is intense, but it’s also beautiful.
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Remember, honesty and support can make a world of difference. You’re not alone in this experience, and it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions as you navigate motherhood.