Why I’ve Stopped Yelling

home insemination Kit

Yesterday, I made a big decision: I’m done yelling for good. It’s been 24 hours, and during that time, I’ve consciously paid attention to every word that’s come out of my mouth. In this short time, I took a moment to evaluate the who, what, when, where, and why behind my shouting fits, and I found some surprising insights.

The “Who” Behind My Yelling

Let’s start with the “who.” Who’s making me yell? At first, I thought it was my kids—obviously, right? Wrong. I’ve become quite skilled at pointing fingers. The truth is, nobody forced me to raise my voice; I was choosing to lose control. Ouch.

The “What” Triggers My Yelling

Now, onto the “what.” What situations trigger my yelling? Honestly, it’s anything that eats into my time or my budget. Like when my youngest spills powdered sugar all over the kitchen. Suddenly, I’m losing precious time I had set aside for something else important—like scrolling through social media. “I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

If it’s not a mess, it’s something that’s broken: a lamp, a picture frame, or even the remote. “DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT COSTS? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?” Most of these outbursts trace back to not following directions. “IF YOU’D JUST LISTENED, NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED!!!”

The “When” and “Where” of My Yelling

Now, let’s talk about the “when” and “where.” When do I feel the urge to yell the most? It’s usually in three situations: getting into the car, mealtimes, and when I’m busy on my phone or computer.

The “Why” Behind My Yelling

Finally, the most crucial part: the “why.” Why do I yell? Initially, I thought it was because my kids were being little monsters. But the reality is, it’s me. There are three main reasons behind my outbursts:

1. Laziness: How often have I yelled up the stairs for my kids? Or stayed downstairs, dreading the trek up when I hear them being too quiet? Then, of course, water starts dripping from the ceiling. “WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON UP THERE?”
2. Poor Planning: When I haven’t prepped for dinner, chaos ensues. It’s 6 PM, the kids are starving, and I’m just trying to get dinner going. “IF YOU WOULD JUST LET ME COOK IN PEACE, I COULD HANDLE THIS!” Then they go upstairs and create a bathtub flood.
3. Unreasonable Expectations: With five kids under ten, it’s unrealistic to expect them to get into the car and buckle up in under three minutes. They’re not being disobedient; they’re being kids. It’s not fair for me to expect them to follow the rules indefinitely.

So, what’s actually wrong with my kids? Nothing at all. The issues lie with me. But starting today, I’m choosing to leave yelling out of my parenting toolbox.

For more on this topic, check out this insightful post on terms and conditions and consider resources like Make a Mom for practical guidance. If you’re expecting, this March of Dimes resource offers excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.

Summary: I’ve taken a hard look at my yelling habits as a parent and realized that it’s often rooted in my own laziness, lack of planning, and unrealistic expectations. By recognizing these triggers, I’ve decided to stop yelling and approach parenting with more patience and understanding.