Mom Milestones: 15 Things You WILL Experience

home insemination Kit

Before becoming a mom, many women have strong opinions about how they’ll handle motherhood. They witness moms dealing with tantrums in grocery stores or food fights at restaurants and vow they’ll never be that parent. Or they hear about the supermom who gives birth in a kiddie pool while simultaneously homeschooling her tween and knitting socks for her husband, and they think, “Nope, not for me.”

Fast forward a couple of years, a partner, and a few fertility journeys later, and suddenly you find yourself ordering a home birth kit while your toddler throws a fit at the midwife’s office. Motherhood truly transforms you in ways you never anticipated, and sometimes you end up doing things that make you feel like your own mom. Here are 15 experiences that are practically rites of passage for every mom:

1. You will find yourself navigating the grocery store with one of those annoying car-shaped shopping carts, kids spilling out of the windows, while you bump into everything. And despite your disdain for those carts, you’ll be irrationally frustrated if you arrive and they’re all taken.
2. You will miss a meeting or a coffee date and blame it on your baby. Forget how you used to roll your eyes at coworkers using their kids as excuses; now you’ll welcome the handy excuse with open arms!
3. You’ll go out in public—maybe even to an interview—with stickers stuck to your backside, completely unaware until you get home and start to change.
4. You’ll find yourself catching your child’s vomit, possibly with your bare hands, in a public place not at all prepared for such an event. Think airplanes, churches during communion, or at that cute new Italian restaurant. Trust me, there’s nothing worse than ruining the first day of summer for 50 kids—ask me how I know.
5. You’ll do everything you can to avoid a car nap. And if you fail and your toddler falls asleep, you’ll just sit in the car with him, reading until he wakes up.
6. You’ll probably injure yourself trying to prove you can still do all the kid things. Whether it’s pogo sticking or climbing playground equipment, you’ll discover that gravity is not your friend.
7. You will have a mom nemesis. That one mom who gets under your skin, showing up at every class, soccer team, and salon. She has no idea how much you want to escape her unsolicited advice.
8. You’ll catch yourself sounding just like your mother—especially when reminding your kids to turn off the lights. Surprisingly, you won’t mind.
9. You’ll find yourself showing random people photos of your kids without them even asking!
10. You may engage in a “my kid is better than yours” competition at a Mommy & Me class, even though deep down you know it’s silly. But hey, your kid walked at 8 months, so there!
11. You’ll refer to yourself as Mommy in the third person. “Mommy said it’s time for bed.” Yes, it’s a thing, and you’ll be okay with it.
12. You’ll feel guilty for wanting some alone time on Mother’s Day, even though all you really want is to sleep in without a half-burnt breakfast in bed.
13. You’ll feel old and uncool the first time you embarrass your middle-schooler in public for doing something he used to love.
14. You’ll find your child’s beloved stuffed animal while cleaning out the toy box and will end up sobbing into it because it’s missing an eye and smells like old cheese.
15. You’ll find yourself telling a new mom to “cherish these moments, they go so quickly.” You’ll say it, even though you hated hearing it when you were in the thick of it.

These experiences are all part of the wild journey of motherhood!

For more insightful tips on home insemination, check out this article on intracervical insemination. If you’re interested in specific tools for your journey, Cryobaby’s home insemination kit has you covered. For those navigating pregnancy and insurance, this resource on fertility insurance is incredibly helpful.

In summary, motherhood is a whirlwind of surprising experiences that shift your perspective and often make you laugh (or cry). Embrace the chaos, and remember, you’re not alone on this journey.