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The Money Dilemma: A Personal Reflection on Finances
Updated: Aug. 19, 2020
Originally Published: Oct. 18, 2014
I’ve come to realize that I’m not cut out for the capitalist lifestyle. Sure, I appreciate money like anyone else, especially when I’m staring down a mountain of student loans. But the relentless chase for profit, savings, and investments? It just doesn’t excite me.
That said, I’m definitely preoccupied with money. Growing up, it was a constant topic of conversation in my household. “No, you can’t buy those trendy sneakers; we need to pay the rent.” Or, “We don’t have health insurance right now, so unless you’re really unwell, we can’t afford a doctor.” Trust me, being broke is tough in a million ways but it can also feel like a twisted badge of honor. When you’ve struggled, it’s easy to see those with money as soft or out of touch with reality—while you’re the one who really understands the harsh truths of life.
Funny enough, I found myself at an elite boarding school in Connecticut, surrounded by kids from wealthy families. And to my astonishment, these affluent peers hardly ever discussed money. It was as if they were bound by some unspoken rule to keep their financial status a secret.
Now, as an adult, my partner and I have achieved a level of financial stability that I never thought we’d reach (our income barely keeps pace with our debts). But even now, the topic of money remains taboo among my friends and family. It’s strange—why don’t we openly discuss salaries like we do about the latest TV shows or our opinions on current events? I can recount my labor experiences in detail, but I’ve only shared my annual income with a handful of people (besides my partner and my financial advisor).
I have a general idea of who among my friends earns a substantial income, but I couldn’t tell you who’s actually living within their means or racking up debt for those vacations. Yet, I can tell you who’s struggling with personal issues, cheating in their relationships, or dealing with other life challenges.
What are we so afraid of? Is it the fear of being judged for what we earn or don’t earn? Should that really define our worth?
There’s a case to be made for keeping financial details private, especially when discussing real estate or educational choices. If it turns out that you’re sitting on a massive inheritance while I’m trying to make ends meet, it can skew the conversation entirely. However, most of us fall somewhere along the income spectrum, and our financial realities are relative.
Reflecting on my upbringing, the constant focus on our lack of money didn’t teach me how to earn or save it; it just ingrained a belief that I wouldn’t—or couldn’t—achieve financial success. No one ever told me it was acceptable to want more, and that silence is deafening.
That’s precisely why we need to start these conversations. Others may offer valuable insights—both practical and philosophical—that could enhance our understanding of money and how we relate to it.
Think about it: I met my partner through friends, and I choose my doctors and financial advisors based on recommendations from those I trust. When grappling with parenting challenges, I turn to friends or family. So why not seek guidance on finances from those same trusted individuals? We share our deepest secrets and vulnerabilities with each other, and money is a significant part of our lives that deserves discussion.
Yet, we treat it as a taboo subject, stressing about it in isolation. Without open conversations about our incomes, spending habits, and choices, are we really being honest with ourselves and each other? Money isn’t just a practical issue; it’s intertwined with our values, beliefs, and even societal struggles like racism and economic inequality.
So, let’s tackle these difficult discussions head-on. Let’s share our financial triumphs and failures, and maybe, just maybe, we can help each other navigate the complexities of money.
After all, we can address our financial realities right after we return from our ski trip in Switzerland.
For more insights into navigating financial discussions, check out this blog post on privacy policies. And for those looking to boost fertility during the insemination process, visit this trusted resource.
Summary
The author reflects on their complex relationship with money, from growing up in a financially strained household to attending an elite boarding school where money was rarely discussed. They emphasize the importance of open conversations about finances to foster understanding and support among friends and family.