You might not realize it, but my child, who is living with HIV, is playing alongside yours. She’s shared laughter at a local preschool, splashed about during swim lessons, and stood right behind your kid in gymnastics. Thanks to legal protections, I don’t have to disclose her HIV-positive status to anyone—schools, camps, or fellow parents—except for medical professionals.
The stigma surrounding HIV is real, and many have fought fiercely to secure the right to keep this information private. Our adoption counselor advised us, “Just don’t share it. People can be ignorant and prejudiced. Is it fair to give them yet another reason to judge her?”
A Child’s Perspective
This year, at kindergarten, my little girl tried to explain her situation to your child. “Lily, guess what? I have a dragon in my blood. I was born with it, and my mommy in China had it, too. When I take my medicine, the dragon stays asleep.” Understandably, Lily and some friends were confused. One even said, “Well, I was born in China and I have a dragon too!” I reassured my daughter that they simply didn’t understand yet.
Understanding HIV Transmission
So why is it that I’m not obligated to inform schools, churches, or daycare centers? The truth is, HIV has never been transmitted in those settings. Modern treatments have made the virus virtually inactive. Every four months, my child gets her blood tested, and every time, the results come back showing no detectable virus. She’s vibrant, joyful, and full of life. I patch up her scrapes, clean up her messes, share snacks and hugs—without any concerns about transmitting HIV.
It’s important to understand that she just happened to be born this way. If her birth mother had access to the right medications during pregnancy, my daughter might not have been born with HIV at all. Interestingly, these costly antiretroviral drugs are provided for free in China, but many people there avoid them because admitting to being HIV-positive can lead to being ostracized by loved ones.
Looking Ahead
In the future, she might date your son or have a family of her own, and they could very well be HIV-negative. Fellow moms, I urge you to realize there’s nothing to fear about HIV. Take a moment to look it up online, speak with your pediatrician, and learn the facts. You don’t have to just take my word for it. Just so you know, my child with HIV is playing with yours, and you wouldn’t even guess which one she is. And that’s perfectly fine.
HIV isn’t the monster it’s made out to be; it’s the stigma and ignorance that truly frighten us. If you’re interested in learning more about related topics, check out this post on home insemination kit. It’s a great resource! Additionally, for anyone seeking more insights on artificial insemination, visit Make A Mom, an authority on the subject. For further reading on treating infertility, the ACOG website is an excellent resource.
In summary, my HIV-positive child is just like any other child, navigating life and friendships, and there’s nothing to fear. Educating ourselves is key to overcoming stigma.