Some Things Are Just Flawed: Navigating Perfectionism

home insemination Kit

Let’s be real: from the flawed meritocracy we grew up in to the designer jeans your parents probably never bought you, childhood teaches us a lot about acceptance being tied to performance. Bombing a test leads to a bad grade, and sporting knockoff jeans? Well, that can drop your social standing faster than you can say “unpopular.” After facing enough failures, a perfectionist often gives up trying altogether. Why bother when effort only seems to spotlight your shortcomings? You tell yourself you’ll give it another go later, but instead, you find yourself waiting and waiting until procrastination becomes second nature.

When fear of exposure keeps you from trying, you end up trapped in a narrative others may have about you, one that’s so subjective you can’t break free from it. The real fear isn’t about not meeting the impossible standards set by others; it’s about being seen as flawed, as just another imperfect human. On the flip side, if you’re always at the top of your game, it’s easy to convince yourself that your status accurately reflects your worth. You chase those achievements, worried that one slip-up might lower your value.

These messages are just a fraction of what we absorb while growing up. Often, we internalize them, dragging our childhood beliefs into adulthood and forcing the world to conform to outdated notions. The relentless quest for perfection, or the fear of not measuring up, can trap us in a cycle known as perfectionism.

We all know perfect doesn’t exist, yet whether we’re procrastinating or striving endlessly, the underlying drive is often the same: a desire to be “right.” That drive can morph into a purpose that skews our perspective, creating an imbalance in our lives that can only be corrected by flipping the script. Perfectionists often focus on outcomes, getting stuck in a loop of effort that’s tied to old fears. You might see others achieving and accumulating while you feel stagnant, stuck in the same place you were years ago. So, how do you break free from perfectionism?

It starts with how you measure your self-worth. If your standards are based on external achievements, you’re really evaluating yourself against external values rather than what you truly value within. Ask yourself: What do you value? What kind of friend, partner, or parent do you want to be? What qualities do you want to embody? Write them down. Are you supportive, empathetic, patient? Chances are, these personal values don’t align with perfectionism, which is more of an ideal imposed by others than a reflection of who you are.

Here are 11 tips to help you gain perspective and overcome the fear that perfectionism brings:

1. Embrace Mistakes: There’s a big difference between feeling let down after a mistake and being so scared of making one that you don’t even try.
2. Recognize Those Voices: The critical voices in your head? They’re likely borrowed. Trace them back to their source and consider letting them go.
3. Sit with Discomfort: Perfectionism often stems from avoiding discomfort. Instead, learn to sit with your feelings and differentiate between fear and reality.
4. Feelings Aren’t Facts: Just because you feel a certain way doesn’t mean it’s true. Your feelings might be real, but they don’t define your worth.
5. Perfection is a Myth: The ideal doesn’t exist. What one person sees as a flaw, another might view as a strength.
6. Stop Anticipating: Focus on the journey rather than fixating on the outcome. Enjoy the little moments along the way.
7. Examine Your Standards: Are your expectations of others reasonable? How do they compare to the standards you hold for yourself?
8. Fast Forward: Picture yourself at the end of your life. Ask if this current issue will matter in the grand scheme of things.
9. Face Your Fears: Gradually expose yourself to what you fear. You’ll find it’s often less scary than you thought.
10. Understand Perfectionism: It’s often a preemptive strike against rejection. Recognize it for what it is, and don’t let it dictate your life.
11. Celebrate Mistakes: Reward yourself for the errors you make. They’re crucial for growth and part of being human. And if you think you don’t deserve that reward? Send it my way; I love free stuff!

For more insights on navigating the journey of home insemination, check out this excellent resource at Kindbody. They have great information that can help you along the way. Plus, if you’re interested in learning about the tools available for at-home insemination, Cryobaby offers a fantastic kit to get you started, and you can find additional tips on our other blog post here.

Summary

Perfectionism can hold us back from embracing our true selves and making progress. By understanding the roots of our fears and recognizing that perfection is a myth, we can learn to value ourselves from within, celebrate our imperfections, and engage more fully with life.