Why We Sometimes Struggle to Do What We Want

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You’ve probably been there before: “I promised myself I’d eat healthier this week, but then someone brought in a chocolate cake—how can anyone say no to that?” Or maybe, “I intended to go for a run today, but it’s gloomy and chilly outside, and honestly, binge-watching my favorite show sounds way better right now.” Then there’s the classic, “I really should start working on that report, but what’s one more day of procrastination gonna hurt?”

We all have these thoughts, and it’s completely normal. We know what we should do, yet we often find it tough to actually follow through, whether it’s hitting the gym, quitting smoking, or finally making that phone call you’ve been avoiding. It’s so common that we might not even think twice about why it happens. Why can’t we just get up and do what we really want?

The Dichotomy of Desire and Action

Isn’t it odd how we can genuinely want to do something but still fail to act on it? This disconnect between intention and action is known as akrasia. Every time you find yourself putting things off or breaking a commitment for no good reason, you’re experiencing it.

So what triggers akrasia? Are we just lacking willpower? Not exactly. Akrasia tends to pop up most often with activities that offer delayed rewards, like exercising, eating nutritious meals, or tackling that thesis long before it’s due. Sure, running regularly will make you fitter over time, but you won’t see much change after just one jog. Similarly, starting your thesis early can alleviate stress as the deadline approaches, but it lacks immediate gratification.

There’s also often an immediate downside to those positive choices. Yes, going for a run may be good for you in the long term, but right now, it means facing the cold and rain. Instead, you could comfortably cozy up on the couch and watch TV. Or rather than working on your thesis, you could hang out with friends who are also putting things off. In the battle between immediate satisfaction and future benefits, the present usually takes the win. Research in motivation psychology shows that the longer you have to wait for a reward, the less likely you are to chase it.

Meet Your Two Selves

A helpful way to view this dilemma is to think of yourself as having two distinct personas: “present-you” and “future-you.” Have you ever felt like there’s a little angel and devil in your head, arguing over what you should do vs. what you want to do? You’re not far off from the truth. At noon, “present-you” has every intention of going for that run later, but “evening-you” is probably leaning toward staying in and watching TV. It’s like the angel speaks louder when you’re thinking about future plans, but the devil swoops in right when it’s time to act.

Research indicates we have “time-inconsistent preferences.” In one study, when asked if they preferred an apple or a chocolate bar, people who were asked what they wanted now typically chose the chocolate, while those considering a later time opted for the apple.

The Bright Side: You’re Not Lazy

The good news is that not following through on your intentions doesn’t mean you’re lazy. The downside is that it’s inherently tough to motivate yourself when the rewards aren’t immediate. If you’re looking for ways to tackle this challenge, check out one of our other blog posts, where we delve into strategies for creating personal rewards to help you stay on track.

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In summary, understanding the struggle between what we want and what we do can help us navigate our motivations. Recognizing the factors at play—like the allure of immediate gratification—allows us to devise better strategies for achieving our goals.