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Enjoying the Holidays: Lower Your Expectations
Updated: Jan. 9, 2017
Originally Published: Dec. 22, 2014
You know, I often wonder why people say the holidays are such a drag. I have a theory, though. After 45 years of dealing with near-constant letdowns, I’ve stumbled upon a little secret that’s helped me emerge from my usual grumpy self—at least during this time of the year. Want to know how to actually enjoy the holidays? It’s simple: 1. Lower your expectations. 2. Aside from the usual adult responsibilities, only do what you genuinely want to do.
I hear so many folks complain about returning home for the holidays. They go on about how their mom spoils their kids with sweets, their stepdad is rude, or their sister-in-law has some outdated views. I don’t have those issues, but honestly, I still dread going home for Christmas. Why? I can’t say for sure; I just do. I’d rather visit my parents when it’s sunny and we can actually do something fun instead of sitting around. Plus, watching my nieces text their friends about their gifts only makes me feel ancient and irritable. So, that little voice in your head that says you don’t want to go home? It’s not telling you to go and then complain; it’s telling you to skip the trip altogether.
Another common holiday gripe? The expense of gifts. Here’s a straightforward solution: don’t buy presents for everyone! Or at least, don’t feel obligated to get something for every single person. Maybe consider a small gesture for just one person to keep the holiday spirit alive. For example, this year, I picked up some books for a friend who isn’t even that close to me—just because I knew she’d enjoy them. I felt accomplished and thought, “Well, that’s my Christmas shopping done!”
Of course, this doesn’t apply to kids who are old enough to realize what gifts are. For them, it’s often easier just to buy something than to explain why you didn’t. But once they understand that things come with a price tag and perhaps don’t need an abundance of toys, it’s time to be real with them. After all, they’re often overloaded with the idea that they need to study hard and go to college just to spend their lives earning not quite enough to get by, and a little dose of reality can do them good.
This whole no-gift approach can apply to holiday gatherings too. I personally can’t stand office parties, so guess what? I’m skipping mine! No excuses needed here—just a firm decision not to attend! (And remember that one thoughtful gift I mentioned? You don’t have to also show up at some random holiday event!)
So, what else am I skipping this holiday season? Honestly, not much! I’m dreaming of cozying up with some bourbon and watching “The Ghost Writer” for the fifth time. I know I just told you to lower your holiday expectations, and you might think that sounds like a lot of fun. Sorry for the mixed signals!
Maybe it’s simplistic, but having a few days off during a season when it’s socially acceptable to binge-watch shows is as good as it gets. If you’re struggling to rethink the holidays as something mildly enjoyable instead of a source of stress, just repeat to yourself: “The holidays. The holidays. The holidays.” It sounds harmless, right? Embrace it like that store-bought eggnog. Yum, supermarket eggnog! Suddenly, you’ve raised your expectations!
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Summary:
Embrace the holidays by lowering your expectations and focusing on what you truly enjoy. Skip the obligatory gatherings and gift-giving, and instead, find joy in simple pleasures like a cozy night in. Rethink your approach to the season, and you might just find it less overwhelming and more enjoyable.