10 Things I Never Imagined I’d Say…Until I Had Boys

home insemination Kit

I’m a mom to three energetic boys, and while they’re relatively chill compared to the typical boy energy, they sure know how to keep me on my toes. I never really considered what it would be like to raise boys since I grew up without brothers. I always thought my mothering journey would be filled with wise, heartfelt speeches, but the reality is far from that. Instead, I’ve compiled a list of things I never thought I’d have to say. Each time I utter one of these phrases, I find myself thinking, “Did I really just say that?” Here are a few of my top contenders:

1. No, you cannot pee in your toy dump truck. You’d think this would be a given, but my then 3-year-old thought otherwise. I still remember it—his aim was surprisingly accurate!
2. Take your brother’s underwear off your head right now. It’s baffling that wearing someone else’s used undies would be appealing, but for my 3-year-old, it was a hilarious fashion statement.
3. Keep your fingers away from your brother’s eyes. I’m still not sure which child initiated this, but I suspect it’s the same one who thought it’d be funny to poke.
4. Please don’t eat your earwax. This has to be a universal boy thing because I can’t seem to convince my little one how disgusting this habit is. No matter how much I explain, it’s like he’s determined to make it a snack.
5. Don’t throw banana peels on the floor just to slip on them. This was witnessed by my husband, who was amused (and horrified) at our 4-year-old’s attempt to recreate a stunt from a show. Also, our oldest now refuses to wear jeans because of a random episode about them catching fire. Thanks, TV!
6. Please don’t leave your toothbrush on the bathroom floor. You never know when that fire hose might go off, right? I’ve learned that boys and hygiene can be a tricky combo.
7. Do not put boogers in your ear. Yes, I had to say this out loud. Who knew?
8. A toy helmet isn’t real protection for your head. My 4-year-old’s imagination is impressive, but sometimes it gives me a heart attack. He insists on wearing a fireman costume to the beach on hot days.
9. Do not leave cups of pee in the bathtub. This one was a science experiment gone wrong, as my boys thought it would be cool to see what happens if they left it there. I was baffled when I finally figured out the source of the smell!
10. Don’t stash blackberries in your pockets. My oldest loves foraging these berries, but when he started bringing home lunch leftovers stuffed in his pants, I knew I had to set some boundaries.

I’m sure this list will grow as my boys continue to unleash their creative mischief. And who knows what my youngest will think of next? These moments are what parenting memories are made of, right? Or maybe just wild stories for dinner parties!

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Summary: Raising boys comes with a unique set of challenges and surprises. From wild antics involving bodily functions to creative yet questionable choices, the experiences are endless. As a mom, you learn to navigate the chaos and embrace the humor in everyday situations.