The Real Reasons I’m Always Late

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“Oh no, I’m so sorry we’re late! The traffic was insane!” That’s my go-to excuse when I find myself running behind schedule. With life being as hectic as it is, I often have a packed calendar filled with kids’ sports games, birthday parties, weddings—you name it. But trust me, if you see me arriving late, there’s probably a much more entertaining story behind it. Here are some of the real reasons I’m often late:

1. I spent a solid 20 minutes searching for my sunglasses… that were perched on my head the whole time.
2. Each of my kids could only locate one shoe, naturally.
3. Let’s just say I’ve been a bit backed up and after taking laxatives last night, the timing couldn’t have been worse. I don’t do my business in public restrooms or anyone else’s, thank you very much!
4. I desperately needed a Diet Coke, and even though the drive-thru line was a nightmare, it was totally worth the delay.
5. My husband and I had a spat, and I needed to cool down my urge to strangle him before we arrived.
6. I had to wait for my Xanax to kick in.
7. I was frantically searching for my keys all over the house, only to discover they were in the same drawer I’d already checked five times. In my stressed-out state, I ended up crying, checked my makeup, and somehow mislaid my keys again.
8. The outfit I had planned was still in the washing machine.
9. My son took 17 minutes to brush his teeth because he was too busy making faces in the mirror.
10. I woke up on time but spent half an hour scrolling through social media in bed, liking everything I saw.
11. I forgot half the stuff I needed and had to backtrack home to grab it all.
12. Time management? Not my strong suit.
13. I got sucked into a Golden Girls marathon; Sophia is just too funny to resist!
14. I tried on some jeans that were too tight, switched to leggings, but then couldn’t find the right shoes. After trying on multiple outfits and having a mini-meltdown, I ended up yelling at my husband about random things.
15. I temporarily misplaced my two-year-old.
16. I didn’t want to be the first person to arrive at the event, so I took the long way around until I spotted a few more cars.
17. I was on my cell phone looking for it everywhere—classic.
18. Right as I was leaving, the baby had a blowout, so I had to stop everything to change him. By the time I finished, my older son had taken off his shoes and couldn’t find them.
19. My dog bolted out the door, and I had to chase her around the neighborhood while my kids screamed like it was the end of the world. After a mini 5K, I needed a breather!
20. Honestly? I’m just a hot mess who can’t quite get it all together.

So, if you spot a mom trying to smile through her lateness, don’t judge too harshly. Just offer a warm smile and pretend to believe her traffic story; she’s likely a bit of a mess too. If you’re interested in more about the ups and downs of motherhood, check out this article for some real insights.

In summary, being late is often a hilarious combination of chaos, mishaps, and life’s little surprises. Whether it’s searching for a lost shoe or dealing with diaper disasters, every moment is a reminder that we’re all in this together.