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One Life to Live and 14 Charming Boys for a First Kiss
Lately, the buzz among my friends with teenagers has revolved around that unforgettable milestone: the “first kiss.” Some of their kids have jumped headfirst into the world of smooching, others are longing for that sweet peck like I crave my morning coffee, and then there are those who are more absorbed in their digital lives—after all, Minecraft and TikTok are way less complicated than navigating teenage feelings.
Most folks are fortunate to have a few electrifying kisses that leave you feeling like you’ve just touched the divine, or at least experienced some serious chemistry. But unless you’re living in a classic teen movie, your first kiss was probably a bit of a letdown. My initial attempt was nothing short of bizarre.
My Two Soap Opera Crushes
At 14, I found myself as a regular on the ABC soap opera One Life to Live (I shared a bit about that journey here). Back in the early ’80s, the smoldering romance between Luke and Laura on General Hospital was a massive hit, attracting a fresh wave of younger viewers. The producers decided my character, Chloe, the long-lost daughter of Llanview’s notorious villain, needed a love interest before summer break.
However, one boyfriend wasn’t enough for Chloe—oh no! She needed two: a suave country club type adored by her mother and a rough-around-the-edges mechanic with a shady past that her mom despised. Talk about summer drama!
The meeting to discuss these developments was a whirlwind. The producer had this peculiar habit of staring just above your head while talking, making you wonder if he was addressing you or some unseen VIP in the room. My mom bobbed her head around like an excited chicken, eager to ensure Chloe’s storyline was appropriate for my age. With a wink, he declared, “I’m sure Jamie must have at least two crushes already.”
In Reality, I Had Zero Crushes
Unlike my character, Jamie was flying solo. At 14, I had my share of infatuations with teen heartthrobs like David Cassidy and the dreamy leads from The Hardy Boys. My walls were plastered with pictures of these boys, but they felt more like art pieces than real people. Having attended an all-girls school, boys were still a bit of a mystery to me, and my friends would gush over their looks, something I didn’t quite grasp yet.
The Day I Kissed 14 Boys at 14
One sunny April afternoon, I was set to tackle 14 first kisses on set, surrounded by a full crew and a bunch of executives. My mom and I learned that the network was casting both boyfriend roles at once, requiring me to memorize two scenes, each ending with a passionate kiss.
My mom wanted to express my inexperience, but I insisted she keep quiet. I thought it was all a hilarious part of the job, not something to be anxious about.
As I stepped into the studio, lines memorized and ready to meet my pretend suitors, I found 14 stunning actors waiting outside the rehearsal room. Half were preppy and polished, while the other half were rugged and rebellious. All were undeniably attractive.
One guy caught my eye—he had sandy hair and adorable dimples. Was he auditioning for the preppy or the mechanic role? He had the perfect mix, and in that moment, I realized what “sexy” really meant: wanting to kiss someone’s dimples.
I rushed to my dressing room to call my sister for some last-minute advice. She was five years older and had recently laid down the lowdown on the “four bases.” But my nerves were racing, and when I couldn’t reach her, I called my mom.
We didn’t usually talk about such things, but surely she must have some wisdom.
“I saw the boys,” I said.
“Do you want me to come to the studio?”
“No, I’m good,” I replied.
“You don’t sound good.”
“It’s just… they’re… handsome. And older, you know?”
“Are you scared?”
“Um… no. Yes. I don’t know…”
“Whenever I feel nervous, I picture them naked in a field of strawberries.”
“Mom! I don’t want to imagine any of these guys naked!”
There was a pause before I heard my name called over the loudspeaker for makeup.
“I have to go.”
“Remember, all of these boys were once 14, too. They are probably more nervous than you. And don’t forget to brush your teeth.”
“Of course.”
“And remember we all just pretend to know how to do these things.”
A Tasting Menu of Kisses
That afternoon turned out to be a crash course in kissing. It wasn’t romantic, but my fresh 14-year-old self found it incredibly educational. I left with a wealth of knowledge about kissing that would have taken years to accumulate in the real world. The actors were all trying their best, and I was completely clueless. Some kisses were unforgettable, like a case of frostbite on my lips.
The Toothpaste Guy
One guy looked like a band member and was on a mission. His tongue seemed determined to explore uncharted territories in my mouth, making me question my flossing routine. I winced when he accidentally jabbed a sore spot.
The Stage Master
Another kisser, shorter with floppy hair, had a unique approach. It felt like he was giving me a passionate kiss with tongue while really just mashing his lips around mine. It was odd, like a well-executed magic trick.
The Nervous Fencer
One guy was intense, keeping me guessing with his unpredictable tongue movements. It was like a fencing match, and I realized then I was too anxious for that kind of kiss.
A Memorable Kiss
Amid all the chaos, I experienced one really great kiss. It felt natural and effortless, and for a moment, it was as if time stood still. I felt a spark with Dimple Guy, who always smiled at me before we filmed our scenes. He didn’t get the role, but six months later, he returned for another love triangle, and we continued our on-screen romance.
Navigating First Experiences
I took my mom’s advice and faked confidence that day. Life is full of firsts, and we often have to muddle through, trusting that no one has the secret formula for those pivotal moments: first kisses, first loves, new jobs, or the first time losing someone dear.
That day could have been a disaster, but instead, it taught me a valuable lesson: there’s no perfect first experience—only our ability to find beauty in the imperfect moments we face.
Summary
In a light-hearted recounting of her adolescent experiences, Jamie shares the unique journey of navigating her first kisses while starring on a soap opera at a young age. From awkward encounters to unexpected lessons on confidence and connection, she underscores the importance of embracing imperfections in life’s milestones. If you’re curious about more insights on home insemination, check out Progyny for excellent resources.