5 Comments Special Needs Parents Wish You’d Avoid

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Being a parent of a child with special needs can be an incredibly tough journey, filled with challenges that require a lot of patience, resilience, and sometimes, a thick skin. One of the hardest parts? The well-meaning but often clueless remarks from others. These comments can sting, especially for those who have just started navigating this path.

As a parent of a child with special needs, I’ve faced my fair share of these comments. When my son, Max, was diagnosed with a developmental delay, I was often left feeling isolated and misunderstood. It’s tough when people seem more comfortable avoiding the realities we face instead of engaging with our genuine feelings. If you want to support a special needs parent, here are five things to steer clear of saying:

1. “God only gives special children to special parents.” This comment may seem uplifting, but it can actually add to the weight of the situation. No one wants to think that a higher power intentionally gave them a difficult road. It can feel like a burden rather than a blessing.
2. “You can hardly tell anything is wrong.” While this may sound like a compliment, it suggests that being “normal” is the only acceptable state. Saying you can barely tell implies that your child is somehow less than, and that can be disheartening to hear.
3. “What do those doctors know, anyway?” This statement dismisses the expertise of medical professionals who have dedicated their lives to understanding these issues. Parents need support and brainstorming partners, not someone who denies the reality of their child’s situation.
4. “I’d sue the doctors if I were you.” It’s easy to say what you would do when you’re not in the thick of it. Even in cases of malpractice, legal action won’t change the child’s condition. Parents often prefer to focus on what they can do now rather than relive past events.
5. “I completely understand how you feel.” Unless you’ve walked in their shoes, it’s impossible to truly know another person’s feelings. This statement can feel more isolating than comforting, reinforcing the idea that few people really grasp the complexities of their situation.

Navigating these conversations can be tricky. The most supportive thing you can do is to listen and validate their feelings. Being there to lend an ear or a shoulder is often the best support you can offer, and trust me, they will appreciate it more than you know. If you’re interested in learning more about parenting challenges, check out this insightful post on home insemination kits. For a deep dive into fertility journeys, Make a Mom offers great resources as well. Also, if you’re looking for support regarding infertility, Drugs.com has excellent information.

In summary, being mindful of the words we choose can make a significant difference in the lives of special needs parents. Rather than offering platitudes, just being present and listening can provide the comfort they truly need.