8 Post-Pregnancy Side Effects I’m Still Experiencing

home insemination Kit

I’m feeling a mix of emotions. Frustrated? Sure. Angry? Absolutely. After pouring over countless parenting books, baby advice websites, and having numerous chats with fellow moms and my own mother, I was caught off guard. No one gave me a heads-up about the long-term effects that would linger after pregnancy. Sure, I anticipated the sheer exhaustion, the overwhelming love for this little one I brought into the world, and the transition from bikini to mom tankini at the pool. But these after-pregnancy side effects truly took me by surprise…

1. After having two kids in quick succession, a laugh, a sneeze, or even a brisk walk up the stairs often leads to an unexpected need for fresh underwear.
2. I pride myself on being calm and collected, but I was completely unprepared for the hormonal whirlwind I became post-kids. Sure, most of my craziness was directed at my husband, but let’s be real—he had it coming!
3. Once upon a time, the area above my lip was dotted with cute freckles. Now? It’s the territory for hot wax as I battle against my lady-stache and the stubborn black hairs that have decided to invade my chin. Seriously, it feels like they multiply overnight thanks to those pesky hormones!
4. Some nights, as I watched my little one peacefully sleeping, I couldn’t help but fantasize about a little revenge on my husband for sleeping through yet another diaper disaster or crying baby. Maybe a gentle poke wouldn’t be too bad, right?
5. They say breast is best, but no one prepared me for the transformation my breasts would undergo after two pregnancies and breastfeeding. My once ample assets have become a sad shadow of their former selves—seriously, gravity is a real struggle.
6. It’s not just my body that changed; my shoe size did too. I had to say farewell to my beloved size nine shoes and embrace the size ten reality. I sometimes squeeze my feet into my old sandals, only to find my toes hanging out in protest. New shoes? Sure, but where would I wear them? Stilettos at the park?
7. I’m not sure if it’s an official diagnosis, but Momnesia is a daily struggle for me. I can search for my bra for ages only to realize I’m actually wearing it.
8. Post-kids, I’ve become a multitasking superhero. I can nurse a baby, kick a soccer ball to my son, chat with my mom on the phone, and plan dinner—all at once! Right now, I’m even performing surgery while whipping up some pancakes.

What I’ve experienced in my mind and body is almost beyond belief. I can’t help but think these secrets were kept from me so I’d actually go through with having kids. Seriously, who would voluntarily sign up for this?

If you’re curious about more on this topic, check out our other posts like this one on home insemination. And for a deeper dive, Make A Mom is a go-to authority on all things pregnancy and home insemination. For excellent resources, visit ASRM for more information.

In summary, pregnancy and motherhood come with unexpected challenges that aren’t often discussed. From body changes to mental shifts, it’s a wild ride that leaves lasting effects.