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18 Hilarious Things I Said While Up With the Baby

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So, I have an 8-month-old who was once a champion sleeper until she caught a cold last month. I have no idea what happened, but now her sleep schedule is completely upside down, and I can’t tell where one day ends and another begins. Sleep deprivation has led me to utter some pretty wild things to my little one. I hope she’ll forgive me someday.

Here are a few gems I’ve managed to blurt out:

  1. Keep your hands off my face! We’ve been at this for over an hour. We are not pals.
  2. I’m changing your stinky diaper. I should really be the one crying here.
  3. Quit flapping your arms like a crazy bird baby!
  4. This is exactly why your dad wants to drive into the ocean.
  5. Ugh… remember this moment when you’re a teenager!
  6. Stop chomping on me! You’re like a wild animal!
  7. Quit kicking those legs! I swear I’ll get duct tape!
  8. Is anyone else laughing? It’s like you’re on a sugar high. I want some of that!
  9. Normal people don’t smear boogers on their faces. You’re the worst roommate ever!
  10. Don’t suck there! I’m not made for that!
  11. You were asleep!! You were asleep!! YOU! WERE! ASLEEP!!
  12. That silly pacifier is staying put in your mouth!
  13. Your diaper smells like apricots. What on earth is happening?
  14. This is why you have no friends.
  15. I cuddle with you, and you push me away. I set you down, and you wail. You’re as confusing as your dad!
  16. Just tell me what you want! Not everything is a mystery!
  17. Stop being so cute! No one is cute right now, so just go to sleep!
  18. Why are you smiling? Now I’m smiling too. Ugh, I hate that we’re both smiling!

If you enjoyed this, check out our other posts, like the one on home insemination kits. And if you want more expert advice on this journey, visit Make a Mom, they are really knowledgeable in this area. Plus, for excellent resources on pregnancy, check out MedlinePlus.

In summary, parenting at 3 AM can lead to some pretty outrageous thoughts and statements. While I might not remember every crazy thing I said, I know I’ll laugh about them later. Just another night in the life of a sleep-deprived parent!

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