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Things That Drive Moms of Twins Crazy
As a mom of twins, I’ve learned just how much people adore twins. Honestly, I get it—two little ones at the same time! After some practice, I’ve mastered the polite “yes, they’re twins, isn’t that sweet, ok, bye!” smile, but sometimes folks just can’t help but stick around and say things that really drive me up the wall. So, if you find yourself chatting with a mom pushing a double stroller, please keep in mind these things that annoy twin moms.
WHAT NOT TO SAY: “A boy and a girl? Are they identical?”
Alright, let’s break it down: identical twins come from the same egg splitting into two, meaning they look alike. My twins are about as similar as any brother and sister can be—so not at all! If we ever mixed them up, we could just check their diapers. Bottom line: having fraternal twins is like having two siblings born at the same time.
WHAT TO SAY INSTEAD:
Next time you see boy/girl twins, try, “Fraternal twins! How lovely!” It’s a kind gesture, and you’ll score points for knowing your twin trivia.
WHAT NOT TO SAY: “I always wanted twins!”
Really? Because when I found out I was having two babies, my mind raced with thoughts like “#$&@! Two at once! More crying, more feeding, more diapers! Will I ever sleep again?” Don’t get me wrong; I love my babies more than anything, but handling two is no walk in the park. I sometimes daydream about how much easier it would be with just one.
WHAT TO SAY INSTEAD:
“Fraternal twins! How lovely!”—showing admiration without any judgment.
WHAT NOT TO SAY: “Glad it’s you and not me!”
Sure, two babies can seem overwhelming, but guess what? Having twins can be an amazing experience! Watching them giggle together and share their little secrets is priceless. I’m just as happy to be their mom as you are to be yourself!
WHAT TO SAY INSTEAD:
“Fraternal twins! How lovely!” (Can you sense a theme here?)
WHAT NOT TO SAY: “Two at once! Now you never have to do it again!”
I wasn’t aware that having twins meant I was “done” having kids. Who knows, maybe I want a whole soccer team! It’s not really anyone’s place to comment on family size.
WHAT TO SAY INSTEAD:
You guessed it: “Fraternal twins! How lovely!”
WHAT NOT TO SAY: “Are they natural twins?”
Nope, just no. What does that even mean? Asking about someone’s reproductive history is super personal, and it implies that there’s a hierarchy to how twins are conceived. Unless I share that info, please keep it to yourself.
WHAT TO SAY INSTEAD:
Just walk away. (But if you must say something, “Fraternal twins! How lovely!” works here too.)
So, next time you see me at the store, feel free to say hi! Just please remember not to ask about whether my kids are identical.
For more on the journey of parenting, check out this article. If you’re curious about fertility options, Make A Mom offers some great insights on home insemination. And for those expecting or planning a family, WomensHealth.gov is an excellent resource.
Summary:
This post humorously highlights the common misconceptions and annoying questions that twin moms often face, while providing alternative, more considerate responses. By emphasizing the joy and challenges of having twins, it encourages a better understanding of their unique experience.