10 Ways Moms in Their 40s are Just Like Their 12-Year-Old Daughters

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Navigating life with a 12-year-old girl feels like living with a mini version of the Hulk—one minute she’s singing happily in the shower, and the next, she’s a whirlwind of sass and drama, leaving breakfast in tears. As I juggle my role from the encouraging parent to the no-nonsense one, I find myself reflecting on how we actually mirror each other in surprising ways. Both of us are trying to figure out what “grown-up” really means, whether it’s in her journey to adulthood or my grappling with midlife. It’s in these moments of connection—whether through a shared eye roll or a hug—that we really bond. Here are ten ways I see the similarities between myself and my tween daughter, Jessica.

1. Skinny Jeans Dilemma: We both rock skinny jeans, but let’s be honest—I think mine look great, while hers might be a tad too tight. Did she really just say mine are tight?
2. Zit Battles: We’re both fighting our own battles with breakouts. Hormones are a universal struggle, just manifesting at different life stages.
3. Nail Polish Thieves: Our nail polish collections have become a treasure trove for both of us. Whether it’s chatting or giving each other a hand massage while we paint our nails, it’s a fun bonding activity. Current favorite? Sugarplum, available for just $2.99 at Forever 21.
4. Unexpected Hair Growth: We’re both discovering hair in places we don’t want it. Luckily, Jessica can just wax, while I might need more drastic measures like electrolysis.
5. Love for YA Novels: We both adore action-packed young adult novels mixed with a hint of romance. What’s not to love about a brave girl taking on the world while falling for a sensitive boy? Can’t wait to binge-watch the latest adaptation together!
6. Curse Substitutes: We both have a tendency to drop words like “freakin’” and “crap.” My attempts at creative cursing are getting a little too close to home with her. Should we both just cut it out or keep the fun going?
7. “Hot” Guys on TV: Our taste in TV hunks overlaps, especially when it comes to the show Nashville. I’m all about Deacon, while Jessica swoons over Gunnar. When did she learn that “hot” isn’t about the temperature?
8. Running Isn’t Fun: We both see running as a form of torture, not a fun pastime. I remember when gym class became my worst nightmare. Sweat and sore muscles? No thanks! Maybe we should just get matching sneakers instead.
9. Friendship Insecurities: I might be older, but I still have my fair share of worries about friendships. Jessica is going through similar feelings, but thankfully, I can help guide her through those tough social situations.
10. Chasing Dreams Together: I’m her biggest fan as she belts out tunes in her school rock band, and to my delight, I recently got to live out my dream of performing in an all-mom band. Even if Jessica was a bit embarrassed, she cheered me on like the supportive daughter she is.

Parenting a tween can be a wild ride! But finding those moments of connection is what makes it all worthwhile—even if it comes with a few awkward fashion moments. If you’re curious about home insemination options, check out this post on contacting us. Plus, for anyone looking into fertility options, Make A Mom is a great resource. And if you want to dive deeper into the process, the NHS provides fantastic information about intrauterine insemination.

In summary, my daughter and I may be at different stages in life, but the similarities we share—from fashion choices to emotional struggles—create a unique bond that makes this parenting journey all the more interesting.