A Virtual Goodnight: Tucking Your Kids in from Afar

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When it comes to sticking to a strict bedtime routine, I’d say I’m not exactly winning any parenting awards. You could say I’m a bit of a softie. I often cave in to the 15-minute extension pleas or the classic “Can I have just one more glass of water?” and I’m definitely that parent who gives in to the “Please, just one more story.” Maybe it would be different if I were parenting solo, but I really think it’s just part of my style.

Most weeks, my daughter Mia stays with me two to three nights, and I absolutely treasure those evenings together. Sure, there are a few frustrating moments, like her stubbornness about brushing her teeth, refusing to get out of bed, or turning down every breakfast option I suggest. But honestly, I remember being that way at her age, so I try to roll with it.

On the nights she’s not at my place, things shift a bit. Five years ago, when I entered the world of co-parenting, I made a promise that I would tell Mia “I love you” every single day, no matter where I was or what I was up to. I figured it was crucial for her to hear my voice regularly. It might have been just as much for me as it was for her, but I was determined.

Back then, I was still using a Blackberry, and Mia was only four. So, our daily connection was through old-school phone calls. I didn’t have video chat options like Skype or FaceTime, and Mia wasn’t the biggest fan of phone conversations. Those calls were quick and straightforward. Her mom and I tried to time them so they didn’t coincide with bedtime—hoping to avoid a reminder that her parents were apart right before she went to sleep.

Fast forward to now, and my tech situation has improved, along with Mia’s age. Just last Sunday, after a long day that included 120 miles of driving and a tire blowout, I was finally settling in to watch the Oscars when my phone buzzed. It was Mia, FaceTiming me from her iPad at her mom’s place. Naturally, I picked up, thinking it would be a quick goodnight chat.

We ended up chatting for 20 minutes while she played with her Littlest Pet Shops, and I eventually had to remind her to get ready for bed. Her mom nodded along in the background. Then Mia called back again, this time from her bed, still not ready to sleep. We continued our conversation for another ten minutes, and then my heart melted. A part of me knew it was time for her to go to sleep, but I was also feeling so lucky to be having this moment with her.

Eventually, I hit play on the Oscars, thinking we were done, but then she texted me again. I started feeling a bit guilty for wanting to end our chat. Was I being a bad dad for wanting to prioritize my show? This little back-and-forth made me realize that, while I struggle to ignore texts and emails from anyone, especially Mia, it becomes even tougher when it’s in written form.

It’s much harder to enforce bedtime when we’re apart. At what point does my desire to shield her from the reality of our situation become just a logistical issue? No matter what, she still needs to hit the hay at night.

In the end, our virtual tuck-ins may be unconventional, but they’re a reminder of the bond we share, even from miles away. For more on navigating parenthood and relationships, check out this insightful post on how to approach home insemination.

Summary

This piece reflects on the challenges and joys of co-parenting and maintaining connection with your child, even when apart. A mixture of nostalgia and modern technology, it explores the emotional tug-of-war that comes with bedtime rituals in a separated family situation. The author shares personal anecdotes that highlight the struggles and triumphs of being a loving parent from a distance.