Getting a Hair Blowout After Delivery? No, Thanks!

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You know what? Sometimes, I think I have seen it all, but then the internet proves me wrong—again. Just yesterday, my Facebook feed was buzzing about a New York Times piece titled, “Along With Babies, Hairstyles Are Arriving In Hospitals.” Naturally, I had to check it out. What I found was almost too absurd to believe: post-delivery hair blowouts and makeup sessions for… photos? Is this for real?

Sure, Kate Middleton looked fabulous stepping out after welcoming her royal baby, but come on! I imagined her thinking, “I really don’t want to look like a hot mess in front of the world,” while feeling forced to glam up for the occasion. But let’s be honest: who wants to go through all that right after delivering a HUMAN?

If you’ve been through childbirth, you know that a hair makeover is probably the last thing on your mind after bringing a baby into the world. If you disagree, we might not be on the same wavelength.

Here’s what I was really craving after my own delivery:

1. A Drink: Not a cocktail, just something to quench my thirst. After my C-section, I felt parched for ages. At one point, I even got my husband to fetch a wet washcloth from the bathroom just so I could suck the water out of it. Spoiler alert: I ended up throwing up six times. I really couldn’t care less about my hair or makeup at that moment.
2. Something to Eat: Once I could order food, I told the nurses I wanted whatever would arrive quickest. I didn’t care if it was liver and lima beans. After 22 hours of labor and 12 hours of recovery, I was absolutely starving. Hair products? Not even on my radar.
3. Catheter Removal: Let’s be real: feeling that plastic tube shoved up your urethra is not fun. The joy of having it taken out is something I’d take over any beauty treatment any day!
4. A Shower: After the chaos of childbirth, nothing felt better than stepping into a hospital shower. Did it have some weird quirks? Sure! But it was heavenly to wash off all the sweat and grime. I didn’t care about styling my hair; I just wanted to feel fresh again.
5. Comfortable Clothes: What was I wearing? A hospital gown and mesh underwear—super chic, right? I was just happy to be clean and comfortable, not strutting around in designer wear.

Mr. Barrett from Bergdorf Goodman thinks looking “normal” post-delivery is essential for your psyche. But honestly? I was way more concerned about how to nurse my newborn and manage the chaos of new motherhood than about looking presentable. I’d rather embrace the realness of those first moments than worry about my appearance.

Looking back at my post-delivery photos, I don’t see a well-coiffed new mom. I see a woman overwhelmed but deeply happy, with messy hair and an unfiltered expression of joy as she cradles her new baby. Those moments mattered far more than any blowout could.

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In summary, after giving birth, the last thing you need is a hair and makeup session. Embrace the real, messy moments of motherhood—they’re the ones that truly matter.