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How Can an Only Child Support Their Aging Parents?
Hey there! So, I recently found myself in a tough situation with my mom. She spent three weeks at this rehab facility after an injury, and let me tell you, it was a real eye-opener. The place was long and low, kind of like a concrete block barracks. Her roommate had Alzheimer’s and was constantly moaning, which was really unsettling. My mom struggled to get anyone’s help for simple things like bathroom visits or a glass of water. Sometimes she would even resort to calling the front desk on her cellphone, or just wait until my dad or I could come by to assist her.
Twice while I was there, the nurse brought her pain medication but not the full prescribed amount. It left me wondering what was going on behind the scenes. My mom has made it clear she’d rather leap off a cliff than go back to a place like that. Unfortunately, that leaves me, as her only child, in a bit of a bind. I’m not up for that cliff-pushing role. Right now, she and my dad are managing, but their health is always on my mind. Plus, I live about eight hours away, don’t own a car, and I’m juggling being the main caregiver for my two small kids. Every day, I find myself wondering what will happen when they need more help.
This situation really struck a chord with me after reading Ai-jen Poo’s book, The Age of Dignity: Preparing for the Elder Boom in a Changing America. Poo, who leads the Domestic Workers Alliance, urges us to face the looming eldercare crisis head-on. With baby boomers like my parents aging, the stats are staggering: by 2020, one-sixth of our population will be 65 or older. In 20 years, that number will skyrocket from 40 million to 70 million. So, who’s going to step in to help with chores, cooking, bathing, and eventually skilled nursing care?
Traditionally, the answer has been women, but many are now working full-time jobs. My friend, Miranda, has a similar story. She spends weekdays working, then drives two hours on weekends to help her elderly mother by cleaning and preparing meals. Unfortunately, she’s stretched thin, and the toll on her marriage and finances is significant. They can’t afford a paid caregiver, and insurance doesn’t cover the little bit of help her mom needs.
I was bracing myself for Poo’s book to highlight these issues without providing solutions, but to my surprise, she shares several practical ideas. For example, she talks about “time banks” where you can log hours spent caring for a local elder and redeem them for your own parent’s care down the line. One of her most ambitious proposals is a public-works initiative similar to past federal projects like the interstate highway system. Poo argues that making caregiving accessible could save money (in-home care is less expensive than nursing homes) and create jobs, which could appeal to both sides of the political spectrum.
Fear about aging and care is common, and for good reason. If you’re not wealthy, it’s tough to secure the kind of compassionate, community-based care that many countries offer their citizens. The challenge, as always, involves getting those in power—mostly white men—to take action. Poo likens political will to getting couples on the dance floor; once the first brave soul steps forward, others will join in. Aging should be seen as a blessing, not a source of dread.
So, whether you’re navigating your own family’s care challenges or just curious about the topic, this book offers some eye-opening perspectives. It’s definitely worth a read, just like checking out more information on home insemination at this link. And if you’re looking to boost fertility, this site has some great resources. For more on pregnancy and fertility issues, this link is an excellent resource.
In summary, the challenges of caring for aging parents can be overwhelming, especially for only children. It’s essential to seek out solutions, whether through community initiatives or personal networks, to ensure that our loved ones receive the care they deserve as they age.