Reflections on Turning 49: Insights from My Journey

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Yesterday, I hit the big 4-9. Here are 9 insights I’ve gathered along the way.

Reflecting back to when I was 29, I was a newlywed with a tiny baby, a former war photographer turned TV news producer. Back then, I could never have envisioned my life now, two decades later. I’m here, sharing my story online, navigating my way through a divorce while raising my kids solo. I’m a published author, able to claim the title “New York Times bestselling” if I choose—though it often feels a bit too boastful. It’s a strange feeling, being somewhat detached from my past, yet finding more peace than I ever thought possible.

So, what does life look like at 49?

Take yesterday morning, for example. It was my birthday, but it unfolded in a way that felt familiar. My 18-year-old daughter woke me up with breakfast in bed, which my hungry 8-year-old promptly devoured (isn’t that just the essence of motherhood?). He came sporting a shower cap after dying his hair blue, which was a sight! My daughter also gifted me a voucher for five nights of dishwashing duty, which is a thoughtful gesture since we don’t have a dishwasher.

I started my day with an hour of yoga in the living room, only to be reminded by my son that I was supposed to handle snack duty for the week—whoops. After dropping him off at school, I made a quick grocery run, tying up our dog outside and hoping no one would take him. I returned to school to donate exactly $49 worth of snacks (thanks for the cosmic wink, universe) and then raced back home to grab my computer for work. The subway ride was typical for me, writing away as I commuted.

Later, a friend treated me to lunch and a Broadway show, where I was surprised by a group of friends who dropped in. Then another friend took my kids and me out to dinner at one of my favorite NYC spots. I’m truly fortunate to have such wonderful friends. Instead of heading back to the office post-show, I decided to take the afternoon off. It was one of those beautiful spring days in New York, and as a single mom working full-time, I rarely get a moment to myself. So, I strolled over three miles from the theater to TriBeCa, jamming to the Rolling Stones and Mozart along the way.

That pretty much sums up what 49 looks like for me on a day that was both special and ordinary. I know everyone’s experience varies, but if you’re reading this on a device in a developed country, your life might share some similarities with mine—even if you’re still in a relationship or don’t have kids.

If you’d told me at 29 that this would be my life, I wouldn’t have believed you. But here I am, embracing it all, and there are unexpected joys that come with middle age. Here’s what I’ve learned:

1. Health and youth often stem more from your mindset than your physical state. Stay youthful inside, and it shows outside.
2. Dating post-marriage is surprisingly simple and can even be fun thanks to modern tech.
3. Shame is pointless. There’s no shame in seeking help, love, or even a little me-time to recharge.
4. Kids evolve from draining your energy to enriching your life; they become incredible companions, even if just for a fleeting moment.
5. The myth of a single soulmate is just that—a myth. Love can blossom at any age.
6. Long-term friendships can create a warmth that brings tears of joy.
7. Learning never stops; you don’t just become an adult with fixed beliefs. Each day is another chance to discover something new.
8. Whatever you expect from 49, it’s likely to be a surprise.
9. Loving what you do is attainable. Honestly, what I cherish most about being 49? Writing for you. I genuinely appreciate you for reading my thoughts.

Let’s reconvene when I turn 50, shall we?

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In summary, turning 49 has brought new perspectives and joys, as well as a reminder that life is an ever-evolving journey filled with surprises and growth.