Would You Consider Sending Your Child to Boarding School?

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Growing up in West Virginia, I believed that boarding school was my golden ticket to the educational advantages that kids from places like Greenwich or the Upper East Side had without even thinking about it. My mom, who was always aware of income inequality back in the ’80s, understood that getting into a top college was my best shot at breaking into the middle class. She worried that the local high schools didn’t offer the college prep courses or connections to admissions advisors that could help me get into a good school. So, off I went, packing a trunk full of handmade clothes my mom and grandma had sewn using outdated Vogue patterns they thought were “in.”

Unfortunately, my grandma’s fashion sense didn’t quite match what was trending among my wealthier classmates. My plaid skirts and knee socks felt completely out of place next to their chic Laura Ashley dresses and colorful Indian-print tees. I called home, pleading for a new wardrobe, but that was out of the question—we barely had enough money for what I already had. So, I made the best of it and got through that first year, even if I felt like a fish out of water and pretty lonely.

However, the experience was eye-opening in many ways. It introduced me to a vastly different community than my small-town upbringing, and eventually, I grew to feel at home in both environments—though I also accepted that I might never fully fit in anywhere. Boarding school offered me a glimpse into a privileged world, almost like a live study of a group that holds a massive portion of the country’s wealth and probably influences a lot of what happens in Congress. This understanding of America’s class system was invaluable, even if I wasn’t a major player myself. It made me more conscious of privilege, both mine and those around me.

Despite any initial struggles, I forged friendships that have lasted through the years. I ended up attending a great college on a full scholarship, which I might not have achieved if I had stayed in West Virginia.

But Would I Send My Own Kids to Boarding School?

Absolutely not. My mom wanted me to change our circumstances, much like families in the past who sent their kids off in search of a better life. It was tough, but I believed the challenge was worth it. However, if there are educational opportunities just as good as boarding schools nearby, my boys will stay home.

Teenagers need their parents. They need that daily support, whether it’s mom’s advice on life’s little challenges or dad’s silent understanding during school pick-ups. They deserve the comfort of a loving home that helps them navigate the tumultuous teenage years. Plus, they need to learn practical life skills like cooking, cleaning, and budgeting—things I missed out on as a teen. Thankfully, the Internet has come to my rescue. For all you boarding school grads: Clorox wipes are your best friend, and braising is actually easy. Just keep it simple with an Excel file for budgeting.

On a more personal note, I’m not ready to let my kids go four years earlier than necessary. My husband, who lived at home until grad school, can’t even fathom the idea of boarding school. “We’d pay how much for them to get their heads filled with nonsense?” he says. Plus, he’s skeptical about the values of private school kids. “Do I really want them around those kinds of people?” he wonders, as if all their classmates are just the children of shady tycoons.

I get it, though. It’s concerning that in this country, a good education often comes with a hefty price tag, and we’re not exactly rolling in dough ourselves. That might mean we have to be creative with our options.

Well, there’s always homeschooling.

In Summary

My experience with boarding school shaped my perspective on privilege and education, but I believe that keeping my kids closer to home is the best choice for us. They need the love and guidance of their parents, and I’m not ready to let go just yet.