6 Ways to Identify Synthetic Babies

home insemination Kit

Hey there! So, the other day, I stumbled across some wild comments from fashion designers who referred to babies conceived through IVF for same-sex couples as “synthetic.” While I’m not exactly a pro in the world of alternative conception like they are, I thought it would be fun to share how you might spot these so-called “synthetic babies” in a lighthearted way:

1. They Sleep Like a Charm: If your kiddo drifts off at your command, you might be dealing with a synthetic baby. They’ll stay tucked in until your alarm rings, unlike a “real” child who, after a quick sip of water and a few more bedtime stories, will end up back in your bed by midnight.
2. No Bodily Fluids: Real kids are like little excretion machines—there’s always some kind of mess happening. Synthetic kids? They don’t produce any of that stuff. No pee, no poop, no snot. Keep an eye out for this rare breed!
3. Cruciferous Vegetable Enthusiasts: Want to see if they’re synthetic? Just put some raw cauliflower in front of them. If they devour it with glee and ask for more, congratulations—you’ve found a synthetic! Real kids usually turn their noses up at anything green unless it’s smothered in ketchup.
4. Mess-Free Zone: A “real” child will scatter toys everywhere and might even turn your dining room table into a canvas for their art. In contrast, synthetic kids play quietly with their toys and clean up after themselves—maybe even offering to share with siblings. Dreamy, right?
5. Perfectly Polite: Synthetic kids never throw tantrums in public. When it’s time to leave the store without that shiny new toy, they simply accept it with a smile. They even ask for their car seat to be snug, prioritizing safety over comfort!
6. Dental Hygiene Fanatics: These little wonders love brushing their teeth! They’ll remind you it’s time to floss and use it correctly instead of turning it into a toy. When you mention brushing before bed, they won’t act like you suggested something dreadful.

So, unless your little one checks all these boxes, it’s safe to say they are just your typical “real” kids. And honestly, who has time to ask a parent about their child’s conception method when they’re likely juggling spit-up and Lego disasters?

If you want to dive deeper into topics like this, check out our other blog post on intracervical insemination. For authoritative advice on home insemination kits, Make a Mom has got you covered. Also, if you’re curious about IVF, this Wikipedia article is an excellent resource.

Summary

The article humorously outlines six characteristics that might distinguish “synthetic babies” from “real kids,” suggesting that the former sleep on command, produce no bodily fluids, enjoy their veggies, don’t create messes, behave impeccably, and have a passion for dental care. Unless a child meets all these traits, they are likely just a typical kid, and the article encourages readers to appreciate the chaos of parenting.