Love Isn’t a Pie: Why My Kids and Husband All Have Their Place

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My partner and I have been together for quite a while, and our relationship really is the backbone of our family. There are days when it feels like we’re just two housemates running a bustling boarding school, where the kids are constantly in and out, needing meals, rides, and a bit of TLC. Yet, there are times when our bond is strong enough to rise above the chaos of family life.

I don’t believe in a strict hierarchy of who comes first in my life. On any given day, one child may need more attention, or my partner might crave some quality time, and sometimes, I just need to be the focus. Of course, let’s not forget about the dog, who always needs a walk. Family life is more like a balancing act than a rigid structure.

The Debate on Prioritizing Relationships

This brings me to a topic I find puzzling: the idea that some women feel the need to declare their husbands as their top priority over their children. I recently came across a post by Lisa Monroe at a parenting site, where she expressed her belief in putting her husband first. She argues that a strong marriage sets an example for kids and that, in the long run, those kids will leave home, leaving the couple to support one another. While I understand her perspective, I can’t resonate with the idea of loving one person more than another.

I would never go on the Internet and claim to love my husband more than my kids. For me, love is not a pie that gets divided up; it’s more like an endless ocean without boundaries. I love my three kids, my husband, my parents, my sister, and my close friends in unique ways. Some days are more challenging than others, and sometimes someone might need a little extra love. But that’s just the reality of family life—a constant dance of everyone’s quirks and needs.

Finding Balance in Family Life

It’s not a matter of choosing between my partner and my kids. We still make time for date nights and even solo trips, even if I don’t consider my husband my number one priority. Interestingly, a survey revealed that 48% of respondents believe wives should prioritize their husbands. This makes me question why this conversation is so one-sided. Did they even ask whether husbands should put their wives first? Probably not. Society often expects men to prioritize work or hobbies, but it seems only women are put on the spot to rank their loved ones.

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Conclusion

In summary, love is complex and isn’t meant to be measured or ranked. Instead of a pecking order, it’s all about balance, where every member of the family holds a unique place in our hearts.