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My Partner’s Always Traveling: How Is It Impacting Our Child?
About a year ago, we relocated for my partner’s job promotion, and now that things are really taking off for him, he’s traveling more than ever. I’m genuinely thrilled for him—after all, we’re still young and this is the perfect time for him to climb the career ladder. He’s passionate about his work and wants to make a meaningful contribution to the world. Yet, I can’t shake off this nagging feeling about how his frequent absences affect our family dynamic. What are we giving up for his career advancement?
From my perspective, it seems like my partner isn’t missing much when he’s away. The days blend together in a monotonous routine: wake up, have breakfast, drop our child off at preschool, tackle chores, work, pick him up, dinner, and bed. But I know our child’s childhood is woven from these seemingly mundane moments. My partner is missing out on those cozy morning snuggles, sticky fingers after breakfast, and amusing stories from preschool. Without him, I often find myself in survival mode, just trying to get through the day amidst work, cooking, and laundry. I hardly have the energy to appreciate our child’s sweet scent or soft skin.
I recognize that even questioning this is a privilege. My partner’s job provides us with a comfortable lifestyle, which is more than we could ask for. We both enjoy our careers and want to give our child the opportunities we didn’t have, whether it’s funding swim lessons, taking trips, or buying books. What parent wouldn’t strive for that?
We don’t live extravagant lives. We rent our home, drive two used cars, and cook at home. We’ve been financially independent since college and don’t expect help from our parents. In fact, we may find ourselves caring for them as they age. While we’re aware of our financial stability compared to our parents’ struggles, I often wonder what life would be like if my partner’s job didn’t pay as well but kept him at home more. Would we be happier? Would living on a tighter budget bring us closer together? We’d like to think we could weather any storm, just as we did as newlyweds with modest jobs. But would we choose that path again for more family time? It’s hard to say.
Our parents faced their own challenges but managed to be present at home every night. We may not have had the latest gadgets, but we turned out just fine. Material possessions don’t define our happiness.
Some choices our parents made stemmed from their upbringing, while others were influenced by the times they lived in. Nowadays, childcare costs a fortune, and healthcare bills can be overwhelming. My upbringing in late ’70s Hungary was quite different—public schools were the norm, healthcare was free, and jobs were stable. Meanwhile, my partner grew up in a rural Pennsylvania town and recalls drinking powdered milk as a child. His experiences fuel his desire to do better for our family.
We are constantly balancing the demands of work and family life, grappling with questions our parents didn’t have to face: career or family, time together or apart, promotion or proximity.
Navigating this landscape isn’t straightforward; it’s not just about having less leading to more happiness or vice versa. Every choice comes at a cost. How many missed milestones are worth the extra funds for our retirement or our child’s future education? I don’t have all the answers right now. My partner’s travel days come and go, and we manage to get through them. I believe clarity will come in time as I reflect on our life and our child’s upbringing. For now, I hope we’ve struck the right balance.
In the end, we don’t know when things will tip one way or the other.
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Summary
As my partner’s job demands more travel, I find myself questioning the impact on our child’s upbringing. While I celebrate his career success, I feel the strain of managing our daily routine alone. We strive to provide a comfortable life for our child, yet I often wonder if we’re sacrificing too much in the process. Balancing work and family is complex, and I hope that in time, I’ll see what truly matters.