While I may not have breastfed as long as some mothers nursing their six-year-olds, I continued past the baby and toddler stages into what I call the “big kid” phase. My eldest son self-weaned during Pre-K, while my nearly three-year-old is still actively nursing, and I anticipate he’ll continue for a few more years.
When my first son was born, I never envisioned nursing him for such an extended period. We faced numerous challenges initially—I was simply grateful when we could latch successfully without numerous attempts! Long-term breastfeeding goals weren’t on my radar at the time.
Yet, as the years passed, breastfeeding felt completely natural. If it hadn’t, I would have stopped. After he turned three, nursing became an at-home activity (most kids this age are not nursing publicly, although some still do). When he was ready to wean, it often happened right before bed, similar to how some children find comfort in a blanket or thumb.
I don’t aim to persuade anyone on the issue of long-term breastfeeding; everyone has their own feelings about it. I understand the reactions to seeing older children being breastfed because I once shared those sentiments. However, this discomfort is largely cultural. In many parts of the world, nursing toddlers and young children is a common practice, and breasts are viewed as nurturing rather than sexual.
Each mother should decide how long to breastfeed based on her and her child’s needs, and my choice to nurse long-term does not imply superior parenting. For me, it’s a way to bond with my children and promote their well-being—one of many ways to achieve this.
Having read countless comments on various breastfeeding articles, I’m often shocked by the ignorance and negativity surrounding breastfeeding older kids. Here, I’d like to address some of the most frequent misconceptions:
1. “Doesn’t breastmilk lose its nutritional value over time?”
Not true! Breastmilk maintains its nutritional properties throughout the nursing period. While production may decrease as the child grows and nurses less, the milk’s composition and benefits remain beneficial.
2. “Can’t you just pump and put it in a cup?”
For toddlers, nursing is about comfort and soothing, not just nutrition. Breastfeeding provides emotional grounding, similar to a pacifier or favorite toy. If you prefer another soothing method, that’s fine! However, for many, breastfeeding serves that purpose effectively.
3. “What about when they get teeth?”
Latching doesn’t involve the child’s teeth; it’s more like sipping through a straw. The tongue protects the breast from bites, and biting is a behavior that can be managed if it occurs during teething.
4. “What about when they can ask for it?”
Babies have been “asking” since birth through various cues. As they develop language, they may verbalize their desire to nurse, just like they would for other comforts.
5. “Aren’t you concerned about raising a child who can’t self-soothe?”
Seeking comfort is natural for children, regardless of whether it’s through nursing or cuddling. Over time, children learn to self-soothe in their own way, and nursing is just one of the many tools in a parent’s toolbox.
6. “After a certain age, it’s for the mom, not the child.”
No child can be forced to nurse. Children inherently want to suck, a biological urge that persists beyond infancy. While moms enjoy the bonding experience, it’s primarily about the child’s happiness.
7. “Only children in developing countries need the extra nutrition.”
While it’s true many have sufficient food in developed nations, breastmilk offers more than just nutrition; it’s rich in immune-boosting properties and fosters love and connection.
8. “But your child will remember it!”
Yes, some children have memories of breastfeeding, often recalling it as a comforting experience. Concerns about trauma are usually rooted in the sexualization of breasts, which young children do not associate with nursing.
9. “That borders on sexual abuse.”
This assertion is completely unfounded. Breastfeeding is a natural, non-sexual act between a mother and child, and consent is never an issue.
10. “Aren’t you worried your child will never stop?”
I had similar worries when my first child was nursing, but just like other milestones, weaning naturally occurs. Children gradually lose the urge to nurse, often replacing it with other forms of bonding.
Many mothers breastfeed long-term, even if it’s not visible in public. As children grow older, nursing typically happens at home, which is why it might seem rare. So, if you’re inclined to judge, consider seeking out factual information and reserve your criticism for real issues, rather than the loving bond between a mother and child.
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Summary
In conclusion, extended breastfeeding is a normal practice that fosters emotional bonding and offers numerous health benefits. The misconceptions and societal judgments surrounding it often stem from cultural biases. Ultimately, the decision to breastfeed, and for how long, rests with the mother and child, and should be respected by all.