Confessions of a Reformed Procrastinator

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I really hated hearing my dad say that. Honestly, I remember being pretty awful at it. Sure, I’d pick up a few pieces of popcorn, but the rest of the mess? Nah, I’d just plop back down to watch my favorite shows. My dad had to keep coming back to remind me. I thought if I dragged it out long enough, he’d eventually just say, “Fine, hand me the broom, I’ll take care of it.” But he never did. He insisted I finish the task, and he wouldn’t let me off the hook until it was done right.

Now that I have an 8-year-old of my own, I see the same impatience and half-hearted effort in him. He’s always eager to get back to cartoons and reacts with a dramatic flair when I critique his work. Can you sweep with sarcasm? Apparently, you can if you’re 8 and trying to dodge chores.

I’m convinced there’s a formula to this: the more a father says, “Do a good job,” the less likely his kid is to actually do it. It seems that nagging produces the exact opposite of the desired outcome. I remember my dad’s attempts to instill the importance of quality work only made me more resistant. The more he emphasized it, the more I slacked off. I figured I could get away with sweeping one piece of popcorn and call it a day. I thought, “I will outlast you.”

Spoiler alert: I didn’t. He always managed to keep me accountable. His mantra was simple: “If you want to do this all day, then let’s do it until it’s done.”

When did I turn around? I’m not sure, but I think it was in middle school, possibly later. I’m a bit embarrassed to admit it, but eventually, I started to see the pride in looking back at my work and realizing I had actually done an awesome job. I felt great! Suddenly, I was cleaning up, completing homework, and tackling chores without being asked.

I’m trying to ignite that same sense of pride in my son. There are moments when it happens, like when he leaves a space cleaner than he found it. I can’t help but rave about it! I even get my partner involved to share the excitement. But for the most part, he’s still in the procrastination zone when it comes to chores. I’ve tried to ease off on the nagging, keeping my tone calm and casual, saying, “You’re not done yet.” Maybe if it doesn’t feel like a battle, he’ll come around.

It seems to be a rite of passage for fathers and sons to clash like this. I’ve chatted with other dads, and we all agree: having a coach or teacher step in works wonders because kids often listen to them more than us. Much to my frustration, it’s often the same lesson I was trying to teach, but he just rolls his eyes at me, thinking, “What do you know, Dad?”

I anticipated this stage—those awkward years when I start to lose my status as the all-knowing parent. My son has a stubborn streak that makes my childhood self look like a pushover. Regardless, my approach won’t change. I’ll be right here, watching him until he gets it right. I’ve even got a bowl of popcorn ready for the occasion.

This journey of fatherhood is all about learning, and each struggle brings a bit of laughter and a lot of love. For more insights into parenting, check out this post from our other blog. And if you’re interested in pregnancy resources, this one is excellent.

Summary:

In this light-hearted reflection, a father shares his journey from being a lazy kid to a more responsible adult, while observing the same traits in his son. He recalls the lessons from his own father and how he’s trying to instill values in his child without nagging too much. As he navigates the complexities of parenting, he learns the importance of patience and encouragement.