Why Aren’t Our Teens Using Birth Control? It’s Our Fault

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You won’t believe how my mom discovered I was sexually active—she stumbled upon it in my high school yearbook while I was off celebrating graduation. You’d think this would haunt me forever, but honestly, I barely remember the aftermath. There was a quick chat, and then off to the OB-GYN I went for birth control pills before heading to college.

Here’s the kicker: I had a serious boyfriend throughout high school and had been having sex for a year by that point. I never told my parents because I’d rather endure a root canal than let them know I wasn’t a virgin anymore. So, we relied on condoms most of the time.

Now, as a mom to a daughter who’s only a couple of years away from that same scenario, it’s a terrifying thought. But this isn’t 1986 anymore—it’s 2015, and I like to think I’m a chill mom. Surely, my kid will feel comfortable discussing birth control with me, right?

Not so much. According to a study by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, 68 percent of teens admitted they don’t use birth control because they fear their parents will find out. That translates to about seven out of ten teens avoiding protection due to parental concerns. It’s ironic since just a few years ago, we were the ones keeping secrets from our own parents. Honestly, at 46, I still don’t chat with my mom about sex.

It’s time for us to face the music. Bill Albert, a chief program officer for The National Campaign, noted that teens often say their parents influence their decisions about sex more than peers or pop culture—except when it comes to birth control. Parents may express the desire for their kids to use protection, but many feel awkward bringing it up. As Albert pointed out, some parents worry that starting the conversation might seem like they’re giving their kids the green light to have sex.

We might still feel like kids, but it’s high time we step up and engage in discussions about birth control. Our kids need our guidance, and we’re missing the mark by not being open about it. Starting these talks early is crucial. As Albert advises, don’t wait until they’re 16 or 17; by then, it’s likely too late. If kids feel they can approach their parents without fear of overreactions, it benefits everyone involved.

And if all else fails, there’s always the yearbook!

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Summary

Teens often avoid using birth control due to fear of their parents finding out. A significant percentage of adolescents feel their parents are a major influence on their sexual decisions, yet many parents hesitate to initiate conversations about safe sex. It’s crucial for parents to openly discuss birth control well before their kids reach their teenage years to foster trust and understanding.