You can stress about climate change, melting ice caps, and those ominous asteroids hurtling toward Earth, but let’s face it: it’s raining spiders in Australia. That’s a sign we might need to pack our bags and find another planet, much like the folks in Interstellar or those friendly gelatinous beings from WALL-E.
Just to clarify: it’s raining spiders. I’m a grown adult with a lovely partner, two kids, and even a financial planner (don’t ask). But honestly, the thought of spiders falling from the sky makes me want to crawl into a kangaroo’s pouch or hide under a kookaburra—basically anything to escape this bizarre and creepy phenomenon.
I have two great fears: heights and spiders. Well, maybe whales too, just a little. They’re massive, after all. I know everyone says, “But they’re gentle filter feeders that live on krill and sing beautiful songs.” Yeah, right. That’s just what the whale lobby wants you to think. What if they’re secretly feasting on dolphins and other creatures? Who knows, right?
I absolutely detest spiders. 25 years of avoiding Arachnophobia and most John Goodman movies just for good measure. Even now, I see little spider facts in my son’s books—like “the average person swallows 3,500 spiders in their sleep”—not as cute trivia, but evidence of humanity’s failings. Seriously, how can we invent spray-on butter and microwavable cheeseburgers but can’t stop bugs from crawling into our mouths at night? If any scientists are reading this, please prioritize finding a solution before I accidentally munch on a tarantula!
Now, check out this image from Australia because, of course, this is where it’s happening—like Florida but with even bigger scorpions. What looks like snow is actually cobwebs. Great, right? It’s like a buffet for spiders, but way less appetizing.
And to top it off, I have an 11-year-old who believes all creatures, even those with pincers, deserve compassion. He’s chastised me for squishing spiders in our house, insisting I should escort them out like VIP guests. I’m pretty sure even the Dalai Lama would struggle to treat spiders with such reverence (and no, I’m not sorry for that pun).
Experts say these spiders might be using a migration method called ballooning, where they climb trees and release silk strands to catch the wind. I don’t care if they’re escaping some biker gang in Texas; it’s still terrifying, and I hope Australia has flamethrowers handy.
True story: I once had a nightmare about a spider crawling on my neck. I woke up to find a dead spider on my hand. So, just a heads up: if you dream about a spider on you, you should definitely check!
To wrap it up, spiders are raining down in Australia, and it’s as nightmarish as it sounds. If you’re looking for more about pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy or learn about the artificial insemination kit from experts in the field.
Summary
In Australia, spiders are literally raining from the sky, prompting a mix of horror and humor as the author shares his fears and aversions to these creepy crawlies. With a nod to the ongoing climate crisis, the piece also touches on the importance of compassion for all living creatures, including the eight-legged variety.