How I Escaped the Food Trap in My Life

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Growing up, my mom was always on yet another diet. The ’70s and ’80s were filled with her endless obsession with cottage cheese, hot lemon water, and weeks spent munching on pink grapefruit alone. I can still picture those dense rye crackers that looked like they came from a cardboard box. She never enjoyed any of it, and the weight just wouldn’t budge, clinging to her like a stubborn burr that wouldn’t shake off. She often lamented that she had ruined her metabolism back in the ’60s, as if it were a pair of pants that once stretched out could never go back.

Unlike my mom, who had a controlling mother obsessively monitoring every bite I took, I didn’t face that same pressure. Yet, I still absorbed the messages from my family and society. My aunt grimly warned me against that third slice of pizza, and my dad echoed similar sentiments during our occasional trips to the ice cream parlor. I always wondered why he thought I would pass up a hot fudge sundae—why not take us mini-golfing instead?

Like many young girls, I internalized these lessons about my body and learned that it was open for public scrutiny. We were taught to evaluate ourselves through a critical lens, examining every part of our bodies as if we were simply pieces of meat being assessed for quality.

As a result, my weight fluctuated dramatically from ages 14 to 20. With my mom’s troubled relationship with food as a guide, I had no clue how to eat properly. I wasn’t taught how to cultivate a healthy attitude towards food. My small frame, standing at 5-foot-5, swung between a too-skinny 105 pounds and an uncomfortable 155 pounds. Our conversations around food focused on extreme restrictions or indulgent excesses—there was no middle ground.

It wasn’t until I started tuning into my own body—recognizing real hunger, thirst, cravings, fatigue, and, most importantly, feeling full—that my weight stabilized. For the past 25 years, it has consistently hovered between 120 and 125 pounds. I eat everything I enjoy in moderation, including bread, desserts, and a bit of alcohol. I’ve never gone on a diet as an adult, nor have I mentioned that word to my two daughters. When we talk about bodies, we celebrate achievements like scoring goals or finishing races. We focus on strength, not skinniness.

I want to model a healthy relationship with food for my kids. I’m no culinary expert—my spouse can confirm that—but they have breakfast daily, even if it’s just a bowl of Cheerios. They drink water and nonfat milk, and they’ve never tasted soda. Their mid-morning snacks include apple slices or toast, and lunch typically consists of a lean meat and cheese sandwich with carrots. By 3:30 p.m., they might enjoy Goldfish or, even better, cheese sticks. Dinner is always at 6 p.m., featuring a delicious chicken or fish dish with steamed veggies, a salad, and maybe some crusty bread. And yes, dessert is a nightly treat we share, whether it’s cookies, ice cream, or dark chocolate. Nothing is off-limits, and we enjoy it together.

My kids eat until they’re satisfied, and then the kitchen is closed. We don’t snack in the evening because we’re genuinely full from dinner. They don’t struggle with their weight, and if they did, I wouldn’t frame the conversation around numbers. Instead, I would talk about health and the importance of being active, perhaps introducing our new walking-to-school plan or a fun biking adventure on weekends.

I don’t blame my mom for her poor example. She grew up in a time before the information overload we have now. She didn’t have Oprah or health blogs to guide her. Like many of us, she absorbed the negative messages from society and reflected them back without intending to hurt me or my sisters. The thought that we might have inherited her food struggles would deeply sadden her.

While I can’t control the barrage of media images my daughters encounter daily, I can certainly prevent the passing down of food issues by making food a non-issue in our home. For more insights on healthy lifestyles, check out this excellent resource about pregnancy and home insemination at Progyny. And if you’re interested in more about at-home insemination kits, take a look at Make a Mom. You can also explore our privacy policy for more information here.

In summary, finding a healthy balance with food took years, but I’m grateful to have broken that cycle. By modeling a positive relationship with meals and focusing on health and strength, I hope to empower my daughters to do the same.