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Now That I’m a Mom, I Wish I Didn’t Care About Being Cool
As a teenager, my entire world revolved around being perceived as cool. I was a decent student who generally got along with others, but I never quite made it into the elite circle of “cool kids.” Instead, I was the one they might borrow answers from during class or toss a pity invite to a party now and then. Eventually, I learned to stop worrying about fitting in, and I found my tribe of incredible friends who remain in my life today.
Then, I became a mom.
Now that I’m navigating motherhood, I can’t help but chuckle at my younger self’s preoccupations with popularity. It’s not just a casual laugh; it’s the kind of laugh that starts in your gut and ends with a teary-eyed realization of how trivial those worries were. As a mom, my days are filled with keeping tiny humans clothed, finding missing toys (“Not the red one, the spaceship one!”), and maybe grabbing a bite to eat if I’m lucky. If only I could sit down with my anxious teenage self and share some wisdom.
Growing up in the ’90s, I was influenced by trends that made me cringe. I remember the pressure to get a “pob” inspired by Victoria Beckham. At just 15, I sat in the salon, silently watching my hair be chopped off, hoping to emerge looking like Posh Spice. Spoiler alert: I didn’t. Instead, I left looking more like one of the Taylor boys from Home Improvement, complete with none of their charm. As I crawled into my mom’s car, hood up and fighting tears, I promised myself I’d never let anyone dictate my hair again.
Fast forward to today, and I would welcome any fashion advice, even if it leads to another bad haircut! Right now, my mom-of-three hairstyle tends to be fresh-ish, often wet, and either thrown into a messy bun or looking like I’ve just survived a tornado. Mornings are a juggling act between my youngest wanting socks and my oldest refusing to brush his teeth. Some days, even those simple tasks don’t get done. Forget cool; I crave something presentable and uncomplicated—something that doesn’t add to my already overflowing to-do list.
Clothes were once a source of anxiety for me. The fear of judgment over what I wore could make me feel physically ill. Now, my fashion choices revolve around whether an outfit is clean, weather-appropriate, or if I wore it yesterday. It’s a far cry from the days of fretting over trends!
One of my New Year’s resolutions was to get organized enough to pick out my clothes the night before. Spoiler alert: that hasn’t happened yet. After a chaotic family dinner, I’m too exhausted to lay out outfits for the next day. If my kids are finally settling down, there’s no way I’m venturing into their rooms for anything!
I’ve reached a point where I have no qualms about wearing what my mom might choose. In fact, if she offered me some of her stylish clothes, I would probably shed a tear of joy before slipping them on. The beauty of this haphazard approach to fashion is that when I do make an effort to dress up, people genuinely notice and appreciate it. And on those rare occasions, I’m doing it for me, which is a refreshing change.
I’ve come to accept that I will never be cool, and you know what? I’m perfectly okay with that. I hope my children can come to the same realization because I already see them adjusting their behavior to fit in, like pretending they don’t love their favorite toys just because a friend has deemed them “babyish.” It’s heartbreaking to witness, especially when I see their faces light up at the simplest things.
So, in our home, we’re saying no to cool. I want to bottle up the carefree moments and keep them safe alongside all the laughter and joy we share. I want to save that spirit for their teenage years—trust me, we’re going to need it!
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Summary
Reflecting on my teenage obsession with being cool, I realize that motherhood has shifted my priorities entirely. Now, I’m focused on practicality over trends, and I hope to instill a sense of self-acceptance in my children. Embracing the chaos of parenting has made me appreciate those moments of joy, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.