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Lord, Help Me Survive Summer Vacation
The countdown is on: just nine days until summer break officially kicks off at our place. And trust me, it’s not the cheerful anticipation you’d expect with a countdown like “Nine days until Christmas.” No, it feels more like preparing for a series of root canals. And let’s be real, calling it a “vacation” is a stretch.
In an ideal world, my kids and I would spend blissful summer days basking in the sun, indulging in ice cream, and collaborating to cultivate a perfect watermelon in our backyard garden. But we live in reality, where my kids thrive on a strict schedule. When they have too much free time, chaos reigns supreme, leading to tears and general unhappiness for everyone.
I do try to mitigate the madness by enrolling them in various summer activities. However, finding options that cater to all three of my kids, who are at different ages, is like searching for a unicorn. So I end up shuttling them from one event to another, while they express their disdain at the whole process. “Why do I have to tag along to his class, Mom? It’s not fair!”
And don’t even get me started on the costs! The money spent on a week of toddler gymnastics could probably feed a small village. There’s no guarantee that they’ll even learn to do a somersault by the end. “Seriously, what am I paying for? He’s just rolling around like a log. That doesn’t require any skill!”
We’ve already poured a fortune into swimming lessons for the girls, and my six-year-old is still stuck in beginner class, where the main goal is just to blow bubbles. She’s scared of water deeper than her ankles, and so far, these lessons have done nothing to ease her fears. Yet, we keep shelling out cash, if only to have a reason to escape the house.
Then there’s the beach—free and a big hit with the kids. But for me? Ugh. The prep time alone is exhausting. Just applying sunscreen takes forever, and then there’s packing snacks, drinks, toys, and a ton of other stuff. I’m only human! Carrying all that while keeping a three-year-old from playing in traffic is a Herculean task.
And don’t get me started on the sand. It gets everywhere—my car, the house, even the silverware drawer. I have nightmares of my kids burying me in sand while I helplessly watch them drip popsicles into my eye. It’s like some twisted version of torture! I wake up and think, “Is this real life? Can someone at least pass me some Visine?”
I wish I were the crafty mom who could whip up creative art projects. If I were, our week could look something like this: Monday for birdhouses, Tuesday for paper mache, and so on. But alas, I’m the opposite of that mom.
I know my attempts to create a fun summer schedule will probably fail, and I’ll hear complaints like, “Why can’t we have a pool, Mom?” and “I’m bored!”—a chorus that will haunt my summer.
So, as we inch closer to the start of school in 87 days, I brace myself for the inevitable. Who’s counting, right?
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Summary
Summer break is approaching, and while the kids are excited, the reality is a chaotic mix of activities and complaints. The author humorously details the challenges of keeping her children entertained and engaged while managing the logistics and expenses of summer fun.