To My Daughter: I Was 14 Once, Too

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Hey there, kiddo. It’s hard to believe that I was once 14, just like you. Back in the day, I had my own share of drama, attitude (sorry, Mom and Dad), and yes, those pesky cramps. I totally get what you’re going through—well, at least most of it.

If only we could have kids when we were kids, right? But seriously, after finishing school and figuring out our careers and relationships, I think it’s best to start a family sooner rather than later. The more time that passes, the harder it becomes to connect with what you’re feeling right now. Trust me, I’ve become that parent we all dread!

Annie, believe it or not, I had major crushes back in the day. I remember calling boys’ houses only to have their dads pick up, and I’d hang up so fast! I can only imagine what it would have been like to have Snapchat or Instagram back in the ’80s. I could’ve made much smarter choices about who I liked if I could just “friend” them and see their silly selfies. But hey, you don’t have to deal with the awkwardness of acne like I did—so that’s a win! You’ve got fantastic friends, just like I did, and you know all the popular music—like, seriously, you know it all. I learned from the best, my dad.

Would we have been friends in high school? Would we have shared classes or sat together at lunch? At 14, I was all about skiing, cozying up with my dog on winter nights, and playing the clarinet. I had tons of hobbies but often felt invisible in a crowd. Do you ever feel that way?

I was always the class clown, joking about school pizza looking like brains (it did!). I wore huge earrings, button-up shirts, and loafers, along with sweaters featuring unicorns and bouncing balls—it was the ’80s! My parents probably cheered when feathered hair went out of style.

I was still close with my parents at 14, too nervous to go to band camp or the French class trip. I can hear your eye rolls already, but yep, I even dressed up my dog for New Year’s Eve. I had amazing friends who let me be my goofy self, just like you do now. Your friendships, like the one you have with your “Wendy” across the street, are so important.

I wore musk perfume, had big bangs, and danced to Chaka Khan behind closed doors. I crushed on boys but was too busy enjoying music and roller-skating with friends to have a boyfriend. We really aren’t that different, except for maybe a few generational gaps. Yes, these teenage years can be tough, but they’re also a time of growth.

From this side of things, parenting during your teen years has been quite the rollercoaster. I’ve had my share of sleepless nights and tears, and I’ve learned a lot about navigating friendship dynamics and the struggles of public appearances. But I hold onto the hope that one day, we can hold hands in public without a care in the world. Until then, I’ll just keep stealing glances at the incredible person you are becoming.

Just remember, I was 14 once too. And look at me now—I turned out pretty alright.

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Summary: This article is a heartfelt letter from a parent to her daughter, reflecting on her own teenage experiences while offering understanding and support. It emphasizes the importance of friendships and the challenges of adolescence while highlighting the differences and similarities between generations.