How My Divorce Helped Me Become a Better Mom

When my former partner first dropped the bombshell that he wanted a divorce, I felt like my entire world was crumbling. The idea of being single after more than ten years was daunting, especially with a toddler in the mix. How was I going to balance my job as a reporter, being a single mom, and just managing life? That moment marked the end of my old life, but it also paved the way for a more rewarding journey that transformed me from a decent mom to an incredible one.

It Built My Strength.

While many might have succumbed to despair, I had no choice but to push through for my little guy, Jake. He was just three years old, grappling with confusion and nightmares about where his dad had gone. He didn’t understand the concept of divorce—he just knew something wasn’t right. So, I didn’t have the luxury to completely break down. I worked from home, and for a couple of weeks, I’d sneak in an hour-long nap during lunch. Normally, I struggled with insomnia, but I found a way to let my sadness wash over me so I could be fully present when I needed to be. My son needed me, and while he missed his dad, I was determined to show up for him better than ever.

It Boosted My Confidence.

Initially, I was filled with self-doubt, wondering what made me unlovable and why I was so easy to leave behind. I had always been that person who longed for validation, craving compliments and affection. But as I navigated life alone, I discovered that I didn’t need someone else to validate my worth. I realized I could appreciate myself without seeking approval. Even on days when I was in yoga pants with a cold, I felt cute and confident. It was a real breakthrough for me.

It Heightened My Awareness.

My divorce forced me to reevaluate what I wanted and didn’t want. I used to dream of raising Jake in a traditional family setting, but facing reality made me realize the importance of setting boundaries. When my ex was rude, I learned to stand up for myself. On dates, I became more discerning, saying no to second outings if they didn’t spark joy. I began to see myself in a new light—I was a fierce MILF, and it felt empowering.

It Made Me a Better Mom.

I was always a decent mom, but I stepped up my game after the separation. I realized that I played a part in the marriage falling apart, and I was determined to cherish every moment with Jake. We created our own little world filled with games, nature walks, and silly conversations about how to tell a good squirrel from a bad one (the evil ones have red eyes, according to Jake). He became the silver lining in my otherwise complicated situation, and I made sure to be there for him—whether it was late-night ER visits or school projects.

It Showed Me What Truly Matters.

All the extra drama we often endure just because we feel we have to? It’s not worth it. I learned to prioritize what matters most—living my life authentically. I now freelance because I love writing, even if it means stepping away from my previous career as a court reporter. I walk away from toxic people in my dating life and invest quality time with Jake, playing Mario and talking about all the silly things that kids love. I also make sure to nurture my friendships, knowing they require time to flourish. And importantly, I carve out time for myself. I’ve learned that I’m a better mom, friend, and person when I take care of my own needs. I want to teach Jake the same lesson.

Initially, I thought divorce would shatter my world. It certainly turned everything upside down. But once the dust settled, I realized it was a blessing in disguise, placing me and my son exactly where we were meant to be.

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Summary:

My divorce was a turning point that pushed me to become a stronger, more confident, and aware mother. I learned to cherish every moment with my son, prioritize what truly matters, and focus on living authentically. What I once saw as a disaster turned into a journey of self-discovery and growth, setting the stage for a fulfilling life as a single mom.