Discovering My Kids—and Myself—Through Photo Albums

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Imagine embarking on a 12-day vacation in Mexico with all your kids and grandkids, only to find that you can’t recall any of it. That’s what my mom is facing right now. Over the past year, I’ve put together three photo books for her: one capturing that trip, another showcasing her children and grandchildren, and the last one chronicling her life. My brother, who lives with her, requested one thing: “Make sure she looks good in the pictures. She always notices.”

That’s been quite a challenge. My mom hasn’t always been the most cheerful person, and that’s reflected in many of her photos. It’s been tough to sift through old albums to scan images, and honestly, I realized I don’t have as many options as I thought. Plus, I need to find pictures where she’s wearing lipstick, her hair is styled, and she’s smiling.

This project has become monumental, especially since I’ve also started gathering photos of my kids and my husband’s family for future albums. Flipping through the kids’ albums, I noticed that the transition from childhood to adulthood isn’t as obvious until you lay out, say, 20 pictures of each child from birth onward across five pages. It’s a profound way to capture their essence.

I was moved to tears looking at my oldest son’s goofy, carefree pictures. Now, he’s a serious young man preparing to leave home. My husband and I always worried about his school performance and wanted him to take life more seriously, but we missed the beauty in his joyful spirit. I realize now that our anxiety might have stifled some of the qualities we loved in him. I wish we had embraced who he was rather than trying to mold him into something else.

Then there’s my daughter, who radiates confidence and beauty in every shot. Even in the pictures after she cut her hair for charity in second grade, she showed resilience. You can see her determination, whether she’s riding a pony at age three or competing on a stallion at sixteen. Looking back, I wish I hadn’t taken her independence for granted. I could have been more present and engaged in her life.

My third child’s photos tug at my heartstrings. He feels everything deeply and has a unique perspective on life. He’s smart and funny but often needed reassurance from me. I realize now that my efforts to prove my love could have been simpler. Sometimes, it was just about doing the little things he asked, which would have made him feel cherished. Thankfully, I still have time to change this.

And then there’s my youngest, the charming little rascal. His photos are filled with laughter, embodying the joy of being the baby of the family. He’s the one I sometimes let off the hook for being late to school or indulge with a soda in his lunch. He’s full of love for our pets and his siblings. With him, I’ve learned to simply let him shine.

Putting these albums together has made me realize that I haven’t always met my children’s needs. I could have been more accepting of my oldest, more nurturing towards my independent daughter, and a lot more loving and understanding with my sensitive son. While my older children often advise me to be tougher on my youngest, my experience tells me that love and acceptance will guide him just fine.

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In summary, creating photo albums has not only helped me understand my children better but has also shown me areas where I can improve as a parent. Each child’s unique journey is beautifully captured, and reflecting on these moments has deepened my appreciation for who they are.