Why Are Kids So Bad at Sleepovers?

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Hey there, fellow parents! Let’s talk about one of the greatest mysteries of parenting: why do our kids totally bomb sleepovers? I adore my little ones; they bring so much joy into my life. But every now and then, I just need a breather from all that love and cherishing. Yes, we have a fantastic babysitter for date night (remember those?), but she’s often booked solid and charges an arm and a leg. So when luck strikes, and both of my kids get invited to a sleepover on the same night, it’s like winning the parenting lottery!

But let’s be real: my excitement is always short-lived. My kids are hopeless when it comes to sleepovers. They do just fine with the grandparents—who spoil them with treats and cuddles—but when they’re with friends? It’s a whole different ball game. They’re way past the age of needing their parents to tuck them in, yet they still end up calling home late at night.

It starts innocently enough, with them begging to go to the sleepover, promising that this time will be different. We fall for it every time. I drop them off, and they sprint into the house without so much as a backward glance. Freedom! What do we do first? Go out for delicious Thai food? Hit up Ikea? Or get a little wild?

But just when I think we’re in the clear, the texts start rolling in. It’s like they can sense our joy and want to ruin it. “I don’t feel so good,” they say, and my heart sinks. I know it’s a trap! Yet, I can’t ignore them when my phone buzzes.

And heaven forbid there’s more than one kid involved. Slumber parties with multiple friends equal drama galore. My daughter’s never at fault, of course; it’s always the other girls causing the trouble. I can’t stand it!

My son isn’t much better. He comes up with bizarre excuses like, “I forgot my charger,” or “I have a weird rash.” Please! I can’t engage with that nonsense.

Eventually, after a lot of back and forth, one of us usually gives in (it’s typically my partner). Off they go, looking grumpy, to bring our child back home, apologizing to the sleepy host parents. It’s so frustrating!

In front of the kids, we try to play it cool, saying it’s no biggie when inside we’re fuming. “You can always call or text if you want to come home,” we say, but really, we’re secretly annoyed.

After several failed sleepovers, we’ve decided to skip the real deal for now. “Almost sleepovers” are our new thing—a late-night playdate with a set pickup time. We’ve talked to the kids about why sleepovers are a challenge for them, but they seem indifferent. Maybe they just aren’t ready, or perhaps they’ve simply decided that there’s truly no place like home. How can we be mad about that?

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In summary, sleepovers can be a real struggle for kids, leading to late-night calls and drama. While it can be disappointing, perhaps it’s just a sign that they’re not quite ready to embrace that independence yet.