Yoga for When You Want to Give the World the Finger

home insemination Kit

“After a chaotic summer day, I stumbled upon a little gem called The Disgruntled Buddha. Let me tell you, it worked wonders!” This is a shoutout from a mom who found refuge behind her house’s massive Yucca plant while “tending” to her garden.

The Disgruntled Buddha came to life one sweltering July afternoon, right after a barrage of questions while lugging groceries into a disaster zone of a kitchen, all while hearing “Mommy, I’m done!” echo from the bathroom upstairs. If you’re a parent, you know exactly how that feels. Add in some PMS, and you’re ready to bolt.

Sometimes, all we crave is a moment of solitude—just us in a tidy space without endless questions, where we can think about nothing but ourselves. But of course, we can’t just hit pause whenever we want. We have to carve out that time. Because guess what? We’re the moms!

Still, there’s hope in a quick and easy practice known as The Disgruntled Buddha. It’s a lifesaver on those days when time feels like it’s dragging and bedtime is light-years away. You can whip this out between sibling squabbles, social obligations, and chores.

Here’s how to become a calmer, happier you in 10 simple steps:

1. Stop and grab the moment right before you feel like losing it (and if you miss it this time, no worries—there’s always next time).
2. Escape the chaos and find a quiet nook—maybe behind a curtain or a big plant, in the bathroom, a closet, or even the garage.
3. Picture the soothing scent of eucalyptus or lavender filling the air as you take deep breaths.
4. Raise both arms above your head, palms facing backward.
5. Make fists, but keep your middle fingers extended. (Feel that calm wash over you!)
6. Take a deep breath in, then exhale while lowering your hands with your middle fingers still up.
7. Embrace that instant wave of peace enveloping you.
8. Repeat until you’re no longer on the verge of a meltdown.
9. Rejoin your family as a refreshed and renewed person until next time…
10. And then start back at step one.

No longer does closet time have to be about tears, hiding, or indulging in snacks. It can also be a fantastic way to practice this surprisingly effective yoga-like technique. So, share The Disgruntled Buddha with your mom friends so they can tackle their meltdowns, two fingers at a time.

For more insights on parenting, check out our other post about home insemination techniques and tips. You might also find this resource helpful if you’re exploring pregnancy options. And for those looking to boost fertility, this fertility booster could be a game changer.

In summary, The Disgruntled Buddha offers a humorous yet effective way for moms to reclaim a moment of peace amidst the chaos. It’s a light-hearted reminder that taking a breather—while expressing a little rebellion—can make all the difference in navigating the wild ride of parenthood.