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Bringing My Dad Closer and Helping Him Embrace a ‘Fresh Start’
“Dad, this is a fresh start. I want it,” I tell him as he paces nervously. “Say it back to me,” I urge.
“This is a fresh start. I want it,” he echoes, but his voice shakes.
It’s the night before his big move from New Jersey to Long Island, just a hop away from us. Although he pushed for this change, his anxiety is palpable, buzzing around him like static electricity.
Suddenly, the doorbell rings incessantly, snapping us out of our moment. It’s my partner and our two younger kids returning from the park. My little one leans in the window, his cheerful smile as wide as the curls spilling out from under his helmet. He’s been practicing on his new roller skates! I open the door and put a finger to my lips, and he nods, still grinning, then awkwardly shuffles over to give me a hug, which instantly lifts my spirits.
Weeks ago, I’d asked my dad to pack up just one box of items he couldn’t part with—a difficult task for someone who hoards. “Can I have three boxes?” he bargained.
“Sure, but let’s start with one.”
“How about five?”
“Probably, but let’s see you fill just one first.”
Yet, instead of packing anything, he spent the time negotiating over the number of boxes and figuring out what to donate. Now, here we are on the eve of the move, and not a single box is packed. Honestly, it doesn’t bother me. His place is a disorganized mess; the more he takes, the quicker this new place will turn into another cluttered mess.
“Dad, you don’t need all those things anymore. Let’s make a fresh start,” I encourage him.
“But collecting these items is all I’ve accomplished. I know it’s small, but it matters,” he replies, sounding both regretful and surprisingly clear-headed.
“You’ll discover new things that matter!” I say, glancing out the window where my middle child and partner are tossing a ball in the yard, the sun slowly setting. My son catches the ball in the fading light, his laughter filtering through the evening air.
“I need a purpose. I feel lost,” he admits, his voice heavy with emotion. “And packing is just too hard. It’s painful.”
“I get it,” I reassure him, unsure where I find the calmness. The last few weeks have been chaotic, with my stress manifesting in weight gain and a few unwelcome cold sores. I’ve been juggling calls to social services, doctors, and advocates for the elderly, feeling like we’re leaping into the unknown without a safety net.
“Don’t worry. I’ve got you covered with all new things. You’ll have everything you need,” I promise, walking past the room where my oldest is beautifully practicing his haftarah for his upcoming bar mitzvah. The sound is so hopeful it brings tears to my eyes.
“This is a fresh start,” my dad repeats, and I can see the warmth around me. If this doesn’t bring him joy, I don’t know what will.
“Great!” I respond. “Because it all starts tomorrow…”
In the midst of these transitions, it can feel overwhelming, but embracing change opens new doors. If you’re considering starting a family, check out this post for helpful tips on home insemination. Plus, Make A Mom offers great info on at-home insemination kits. For those interested in fertility and health resources, Science Daily provides valuable insights.
In conclusion, helping my dad move closer while navigating his emotional journey has been a rollercoaster ride. But the promise of a fresh start is invigorating for both of us.