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The Journey of Our Bed
It all started with cautious messages from Jake. He would sprinkle his notes with sweet sentiments like “I adore your smile” or “I love the time we share.” Then came that magical day when he simply typed, “I love you.” We spent countless hours in our cramped dorm rooms, jamming to Dave Matthews and Pearl Jam, “studying” on those notoriously uncomfortable twin beds. The only thing that mattered was which roommate was out, because being together—no matter how squeezed we were—was everything.
Jake graduated a year before me and moved into a dark walk-up apartment on Main Street. It was surrounded by similar row homes and a dingy bar that had surprisingly good chicken wings. Thankfully, we both upgraded to full-size beds after leaving the dorms. But Sundays through Thursdays felt lonely when I wasn’t with him.
I counted down the days until the weekend, which felt like a glimpse into our future life together. I attempted to cook real meals, trying to impress him with my baked chicken and Campbell’s soup creations. It was a significant leap from takeout or canned beans. Jake, ever the gentleman, ate my casseroles instead of opting for wings from the bar. It took years for him to confess how much he truly disliked baked meat.
Saying goodbye on Sundays was tough. Insecurities and jealousy would creep in, leading to tearful farewells. Loving each other from a distance required effort, trust, and compromise. It was a different game when we had the choice to cuddle or roll over in our full-size beds.
When Jake proposed to me on a beautiful beach in North Carolina right before my graduation, saying yes was a no-brainer. I was ready to embrace a life that was no longer just mine but “ours.” We tied the knot in 1999; he was a first-year podiatry student, and I was starting my teaching career. Our college bed stayed with us for four more years until we bought our first house outside Atlanta, Georgia. That was when we finally invested in a queen-size bed. It felt luxurious to have space, and it was comforting to know that being married meant sharing everything.
Together, we made decisions about wall colors, decorated our home, and even set up a joint bank account. We debated over Christmas tree lights and alternated holidays with our families. Then life changed when we found out we were expecting our first child. We spent nights reading about our baby’s development, imagining what our family would look like.
We tried to keep our bed as our sanctuary by using a co-sleeper, but every time we laid our son down, he would scream. It quickly became clear that our bed was now a battleground of sorts for sleep. For three months, I ended up sleeping on the couch, propped up with pillows, while Jake needed his rest for work.
When our second son arrived, our old full-size bed found a home in the nursery. I bounced between beds for years, often waking up cramped from sharing my space with a little one sleeping sideways. I missed those days of tangled limbs with my college sweetheart in our twin bed.
However, you can’t go back to that twin-size lifestyle. The bed keeps expanding, just like life does with kids, responsibilities, and individual desires. After a decade of parenthood and over twenty years together, we finally took the leap and bought a king-size bed. The first night was pure bliss; I could stretch out without being touched. It also meant we could invite the kids in on lazy Sunday mornings or stormy nights.
Having spent most of my life with Jake, I’ve learned that choosing to love each other is a daily commitment. Marriage isn’t as secure as it sounds, much like those old twin beds were never truly comfortable. Yet, I feel secure knowing that the best part of my day is when we roll together in our king-size bed to share a good morning or good night kiss.
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Summary:
This piece reflects on the evolution of love and intimacy through the lens of shared living spaces, from cramped dorm beds to a spacious king-size bed. As life progresses, so do relationships, alongside the challenges and joys of parenthood. The narrative captures the essence of commitment and the daily choices that define a loving partnership.