You know those phrases that echo in your head from childhood? The ones you swore you’d never repeat? “Close your mouth when you chew.” “Don’t pick at your teeth.” “Put your napkin on your lap.” “It’s ‘most fun,’ not ‘funnest.’” “Make your bed.” “Clean your room.” Yep, those are the joys of parenting. Turns out, saying these things as a parent is just as annoying as hearing them as a kid.
When I was younger, I thought my mom was nitpicking every little thing I did. I’d bristle at her corrections, feeling like she was attacking my character. But looking back, those reminders helped me develop good manners and a decent grasp of the English language, thanks to her insistence on reading when I claimed to be bored.
Being a parent, I feel it’s my duty to guide my kids toward becoming responsible adults. I’m the oldest of five, and I see now that while my mom was strict with me about cleanliness and manners, my younger siblings seemed to escape that level of scrutiny. My youngest brother, for instance, gets away with things that would have sent me to an early grounding.
I’ve noticed that my first two kids, who faced my mom’s rigorous standards, tend to keep their rooms fairly tidy. You’d think the same habits would trickle down to their younger siblings, but no. My 18-year-old daughter and my 12-year-old son are sweet, funny kids—but they could use a lesson in cleanliness. My son is no dummy; he’s just been promoted to seventh grade, but his room looks like a tornado hit it. And my daughter? She prefers to let her clothes “air out” across her floor, creating a composting situation with her old jeans.
I’ve spent countless hours telling them to clean up. “Make your bed.” “Take out the trash.” “Put your clean laundry away.” Blah, blah, blah. But for them, having a clean room isn’t a priority.
Over time, I’ve had to evaluate how much I should stress cleanliness myself. Is it really that important? I’ve learned to let some things slide, preferring to hear my daughter practice her saxophone rather than nagging her about bed-making. But then there are moments that challenge my resolve.
Recently, after dropping my daughter off at college, I walked into her room for one last check. Her stuff was everywhere, but I had to remind her: “Please try to leave your room clean.”
It hit me hard when I returned home later. After years of gentle nagging, her room was finally clean—just not when she lived there anymore. Everything looked perfect, but the energy that once filled that space was now 263 miles away.
I got the tidy room I always wanted, but it came at a bittersweet price. I hope her new roommates are ready for the challenge of living with her delightful messiness!
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In summary, parenting is a journey filled with lessons that come at unexpected costs. While tidiness is nice, the memories we create with our kids are what truly matter.