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A few years ago, I made an unintended remark that hurt a friend from the LGBTQ community. When I realized my mistake, I felt a wave of shame wash over me. I was horrified to think I had failed as an ally. Yet, in that moment, my feelings didn’t matter as much as my response. I offered a heartfelt apology and pledged to learn from my error, ultimately becoming a more supportive ally.
This humbling experience was not enjoyable; in fact, it felt quite awful. Even today, recalling that incident stirs up regret and disappointment. However, I’ve learned that we can either let these feelings lead to defensiveness or use them as opportunities to grow and improve. I am dedicated to becoming a better ally.
I take responsibility for my actions and commit to the ongoing journey of learning and unlearning that we all face. Moreover, I aim to teach my children how to be empathetic allies so they can avoid causing pain and feeling regret themselves. I believe many other parents share this goal.
“Nurturing LGBTQ Allies” by Jamie Carter, released on May 14, is a valuable resource for anyone looking to support the LGBTQ community. This book blends memoir and guidance, providing insights for parents, educators, and caregivers on how to be effective allies. Carter discusses common pitfalls, offers practical advice to navigate them, and shares his own honest experiences.
The first step in becoming a good ally is to embrace humility, allowing us to remain open to the lessons from individuals like Carter. Trust me, I’ve learned this the hard way, but it’s crucial. The more humility we practice, the more we can learn and grow, becoming better allies ourselves and raising the next generation of allies.
To be effective supporters, it’s essential to be open to learning and to acknowledge our mistakes—because we will make them. I assure you, facing our mistakes is uncomfortable. However, we can normalize humility and the pursuit of education to evolve into better allies and, ultimately, better people.
“Nurturing LGBTQ Allies” encourages conversations about the possibility of having an LGBTQ child or family member. It challenges us to dismantle heteronormative assumptions and helps us confront our own biases to avoid unintentionally passing them on. The book is filled with practical tips and exercises to facilitate this journey.
I want my children to understand how to be compassionate allies, and I’m sure you do too. We can’t do this alone, and thankfully, there are forgiving friends, guiding teachers, and informative resources like this book to help us along the way.
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Summary:
“Nurturing LGBTQ Allies” by Jamie Carter is an essential read for anyone looking to foster understanding and support within the LGBTQ community. Through a mix of personal anecdotes and practical advice, the book guides parents and caregivers in becoming better allies, emphasizing the importance of humility and continuous learning. It also encourages discussions about LGBTQ identities within families and challenges societal norms, making it a valuable addition to any ally’s toolkit.