How I Ended Up Embracing Toy Guns

home insemination Kit

My 20-month-old is fussing. He desperately wants the shiny all-metal Cowboy Gun that his older brothers are having a blast with. They’re pulling the trigger, and the satisfying clunk of metal echoes around the room. They’re aiming at imaginary villains, the wall, and even each other, all while strapping the gun into a cheap holster as if they’re off to battle.

Five years ago, I would have absolutely forbidden it. I’m staunchly against guns; I believe handguns should be outlawed. I was determined my kids would never play with guns, especially not handguns, since their sole purpose is to harm others. I believed that allowing gunplay would only teach them that guns are fun and that mindset aligns perfectly with the NRA’s agenda. Playing with guns seemed like a recipe for disaster, and I felt I had to keep them at bay.

The shift began with Star Wars. My husband introduced it to our eldest when he was just three. Suddenly, “blasters” entered our lexicon. Lacking an actual blaster, he started crafting them out of Duplos. These makeshift weapons were carried all over the house, inevitably leading to a trail of scattered blocks.

Outside, he found sticks shaped like guns, pointing them at friends while making the instinctive “pew, pew, pew” sounds. Some of these stick blasters were small, while others were large. They followed him everywhere, often stashed in our car.

I realized I was fighting a losing battle. If I kept confiscating his toys, he’d just resort to using his fingers as guns. So I relented a bit—he could have “blaster” time, but I stressed that they could only be aimed at imaginary villains. My best mom friend and I agreed to enforce this rule during playdates, insisting that our kids direct their firepower towards imaginary bad guys rather than each other. “No pointing blasters at friends,” I reminded them.

Over time, we slipped into using the word “gun” more casually. “No guns pointed at people!” became our mantra, repeated endlessly. But we never had a real discussion about it, and eventually, we just kind of gave in. Our boys were now running around, creating guns out of everything imaginable. They fashioned weapons from Duplos, sticks, and even swords, all while gleefully saying “pew.”

Before I knew it, my son actually owned a blaster—albeit a cute one, round and chubby. It had a real trigger and made that unmistakable space gun noise when pulled. He cherished it above all his toys. And since it was a reward for something, I found it hard to call it anything but a blaster.

Once we had one, it was like opening the floodgates. The light-up space guns multiplied faster than sequels to a mediocre sci-fi film. Our eldest was nearly five, and his little brother, at three, wanted his own. Soon enough, they wanted another blaster, and then water pistols for summertime fun. Every make-believe game seemed to involve pretend guns. They were practically living in a box of weaponry.

I maintained my stance against anything resembling a real gun. I stayed firm—no realistic-looking guns would enter our home. But then came the day my three-year-old got a reward for using the potty. While at a local country store, he spotted a cowboy cap gun. I knew he had his heart set on a $30 dinosaur at Target, but the price of the cap gun caught my attention.

He loved it, and I let him take it to the register. He unwrapped it in the car, and just like that, we had a real toy gun in our house.

I still feel conflicted about it. The gunplay and “pewing” aren’t my favorite, but at least they’re not shooting at each other—they’re pretending to battle imaginary villains. We’ve talked about what to do if they ever find a real gun. I still champion gun control, but I’ve come to realize that sometimes parenting and personal beliefs don’t always align. Perfection is unrealistic, and occasionally, that means my kids are pretending to shoot at each other.

And you know what? That’s completely fine.

If you’re interested in more about parenting or home insemination, check out some of our other posts, like this one on how to navigate these topics or learn more from Make A Mom, an authority on self insemination. For an excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination, visit UCSF’s Center.

Summary

In this reflective piece, Jenna Parker discusses her initial resistance to toy guns in her household due to her strong stance against real firearms. As her children grew, she found herself gradually accepting their play with imaginary weapons, eventually allowing them to own toy guns. She acknowledges the complexity of parenting versus personal beliefs, ultimately recognizing that it’s okay for her children to engage in imaginative play, even if it involves gun-like toys.