The Chronicles of a Procrastinator Parent

home insemination Kit

Updated: May 5, 2016

There are those who seem to have their lives perfectly orchestrated. They glide into school drop-off looking polished, with their hair styled and makeup flawless. They’ve showered, managed to wear actual clothes, and submitted permission slips days ahead of schedule. They’re always five minutes early—like clockwork.

And then there’s the rest of us.

If you’re wondering whether you fit the procrastinator parent mold, here are some telling signs:

1. You wait until the gas light flickers on and then push your luck for another 20 miles before finally rolling into a gas station on fumes.
2. Your car has actually run out of gas—more than once.
3. You postpone vacation planning so long that your time off turns into a surprise staycation.
4. At 5:30 p.m., your hair is still damp because you only hopped in the shower at 5:25.
5. The kids in your carpool know you as the mom who sports slippers and mutters under her breath at every red light.
6. By the time you finally hunt down Valentine’s Day candy, the store shelves are already stocked with Easter goodies.
7. You have a collection of belated birthday cards—only.
8. You forget to mail your water bill until you discover the pretty pink “discontinuation of service” notice waiting for you at home.
9. When you finally take down your holiday lights, they’re adorned with new spring leaves, so you just leave them up, thinking you’re six months ahead for the next holiday.
10. By the time you decide to don the latest fashion trends, they’ve cycled back into the “retro” category.
11. You clean up for guests only when the doorbell rings, hastily shoving stray items into the nearest closet.
12. Laundry happens only after everything has been worn twice, then Febreezed and worn again.
13. You finish reading each book just after the book club discussion.
14. Being five minutes late feels like arriving right on time to you.
15. Thanks to Amazon Prime, you order everything—birthday gifts to toilet paper—about 30 minutes before you actually need it.
16. You can spend hours researching topics like “best tweezers for stubborn chin hairs” instead of completing that work project due tomorrow.
17. Your daily exercise consists of sprinting five blocks to catch the commuter train each morning.
18. You call to schedule your annual gyno exam only after you’ve run out of birth control pills.
19. Your library fines for overdue books are starting to rival your latest credit card bill.
20. Opening the fridge only to find a half-empty jar of strawberry jam, some pickles, and a moldy container of cottage cheese is your signal to finally go grocery shopping.
21. You celebrated your 10th wedding anniversary a full 11 years after tying the knot.
22. By the time you think to make date night dinner reservations, the only spot left is at 5:15 for the early bird special—perfect, because you’ll both be asleep by 9:30 anyway.

If you’re one of those flawless, organized folks, hats off to you! You’re truly admirable. But if you find yourself nodding along as a procrastinator parent, take heart—you’re not alone. You’re in great company. And guess what? There are some perks to being a procrastinator! For instance, you can… Oh wow, look at the time! I’m late to pick up my kids from school!

For more insights on parenthood, check out this other engaging post here. If you’re considering home insemination, resources like this can provide valuable information. For a deeper understanding of pregnancy and home insemination, visit the CDC.

In summary, procrastination is a common theme for many parents, characterized by funny habits and a tendency to delay tasks until the last possible moment. However, it’s crucial to know you’re not alone in this struggle.