I Really Dislike Being Called His Girlfriend

home insemination Kit

You know, they say we shouldn’t be bothered by labels anymore. We’re all unique individuals—at least that’s the mantra I keep hearing. No label should box us in. We carve our own paths. Reject the labels. Ditch the stereotypes. You get the picture.

So why do I absolutely despise the term “girlfriend”?

I’m in my mid-30s, and he’s in his mid-50s. Yep, there’s an 18-year age gap between us. We’ve both been through marriage before, so this isn’t our first rodeo. We’re grown adults who haven’t committed to marrying each other…yet. When we refer to one another, the only fitting terms seem to be “girlfriend” and “boyfriend,” and honestly, it feels weird. We’ve had some long chats about it over dinner.

Who do I feel like? A hormonal teenager stuck with a curfew? A college kid cramming for finals? And he’s definitely not some awkward teenager trying to impress me—he’s a grown man with a motorcycle (which is way cooler, right?).

I’m a full-fledged adult, and I’d prefer a different title, thank you very much.

Don’t get me wrong; we’ve explored other options. A few times I’ve called him my “partner,” only to be mistaken for a lesbian. Nothing against that, but that’s not me, so it felt super awkward when I had to correct them. Who’s feeling strange now? There was a lot of “not that there’s anything wrong with that” going on in that chat, but I made sure they knew John’s definitely a dude.

“Significant other” sounds so stuffy and impersonal. “Hi, this is John, my significant other. Yes, I love him dearly. He’s significant, you know.” It just feels too strange.

Sometimes I let nosy neighbors or repairmen think we’re married. Sure, I’m his wife—except for the different last names and the glaring absence of wedding rings. Oh, when the time comes, he better be putting a ring on it! (I might even do a little dance like Beyoncé when he does.)

“Lady friend” or “gentleman friend” sounds a bit risqué, and while I’m not against a little spice, it’s hardly suitable for office Christmas parties or parent-teacher meetings.

Every now and then, he calls me “Sweetheart” and I can’t help but blush, but if I called him “Big Daddy” to match, my mom would probably faint, my kids would ask super awkward questions, and his coworkers might think inappropriate things. Too much drama for me, and way too reminiscent of Blanche from The Golden Girls, who I loved for her fun spirit.

He’s no sugar daddy, and I’m no sugar baby. (Not sure what that means? Just Google it—but not with the kids around, trust me.)

It always circles back to “girlfriend” and “boyfriend,” even though it makes me cringe.

We have two choices: get over it or get married. Since we’re taking our time and figuring things out, tying the knot just for a label seems a bit foolish.

So, I guess we could learn to live with it—at least until the next time he introduces me as his girlfriend. I can’t guarantee there won’t be a primal scream heard around the world!

Someone really needs to come up with a better term. Not just for me but for everyone navigating this strange middle ground of life, with ex-partners, new romances, and a reluctance to marry just for the sake of a label.

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Summary:

The author expresses frustration with being labeled as a “girlfriend” in her mid-30s relationship with a man in his mid-50s. They discuss the awkwardness of labels, the search for alternatives, and the need for new terms that suit their unique situation.