They say that turning 40 is a fabulous milestone, but I’m not quite there yet. As I look around, I see friends radiating confidence, while I’m still trying to find my footing. My 40th birthday has come and gone, but I’m still navigating who I am beyond being a mom and a partner, beyond the person I shaped myself into during my 30s. That decade was all about building and organizing, but it feels incomplete. Now, I’m in my 40s, and it’s supposed to be the time that defines me, but I’m still figuring it out.
Every day, I catch a glimpse of my reflection and am met with the reality of 40. When did this happen? I can’t help but feel envious of those women who have fully embraced this new chapter and seem to love it. I’m lagging behind, trying to catch up, and honestly, I’m getting a bit weary.
I’m tired of hearing clichés like “40 is the new 30” or “age is just a number.” Sure, they hold some truth, but they feel worn out. We’re more than just a collection of tired phrases; I know I’m more than that. I want to accept my gray hairs, which are now trendy in a way that once symbolized aging. Even young women are dyeing their hair gray as a statement. So why can’t I make peace with it?
Then there’s my body. It’s changed in ways I’m still coming to terms with. This body has nurtured life, and though it may not look the same, it’s strong and resilient. Those stretch marks and sagging skin tell a story of a life well-lived. Why is it so hard for me to appreciate that?
I want to reminisce about who I was with a sense of fondness. That past has shaped me into the person I am today, and I want to look forward to the next decade with an open heart. I’ve settled into a life I’ve always dreamed of, with a family and a home. So, what’s holding me back?
I need to remind myself to be grateful for what I’ve achieved. My legs can carry me through the streets of my favorite neighborhood, my heart is healthy, and my mind is filled with rich experiences. I’ve faced both highs and lows, yet here I am, fortunate to have all that I need and more. So why does it sometimes feel like it’s not enough?
Navigating my 40s feels complicated. I’m told it’s a time of acceptance and peace, yet I’m still grappling with the past. Maybe I shouldn’t let go of it completely; perhaps it’s okay to carry those memories along with me into this new phase.
I realize that I’m on my way, but I just need a little more time. So, to all of you who have welcomed your 40s with open arms, please don’t judge me for needing a moment—or a month—to find my groove. It’s not a race; it’s a journey, and I’ll catch up soon.
For more insights into this journey, check out our other blog post here. If you’re curious about home insemination, you can find a great resource at Healthline for all things pregnancy-related. And if you’re looking for a reliable product, Make A Mom is an authority on home insemination kits.
In summary, while entering my 40s is a challenge, it’s also an opportunity for growth and acceptance. I’m learning to appreciate my journey, and although I’m not quite there yet, I’m on my way.