Hey there! So, your dad called me at work and mentioned you feel I neglected to teach you how to do laundry. You might think I dropped the ball, but honestly, I just wanted you to focus on more important stuff like studying and building your resume. Now that you’re heading to the dorms tomorrow, it’s time to get you up to speed. Here’s a straightforward guide to laundry:
- Check Labels: First things first, take a look at the labels of your fancy clothes. If it says “dry clean only,” set it aside for now. Let’s be real—those items are more trouble than they’re worth, and we could use the cash for your college expenses, so maybe we should donate them instead.
- Sort by Color: Next, separate your laundry by color. Dark colors like blues, blacks, and purples go in one pile, while reds, oranges, and pinks make up another. Keep whites in a separate pile. If you mix your reds with whites, you’ll end up with a wardrobe that looks like it belongs to a toddler—hello, ALL PINK everything!
- Washing Time: Ready to wash? Toss the darks into the machine, set it to cold water, and choose a cycle—permanent press or whatever floats your boat. Just add a splash of detergent (or even less, because that stuff is pricey). Turn it on and let it do its thing!
- Drying: When the machine stops, it’s time to sort again! Pull out delicate items that shouldn’t go in the dryer—like those tiny shorts or your cheap blouses. Hang them up in your room, but don’t take over all the space. Remember, you’ll be sharing that tiny dorm with two roommates! Be considerate of their space, and don’t leave crumbs lying around. If they’re being annoying, don’t just keep quiet. Speak up! You don’t have to put up with everything.
- Red Load: For your reds, repeat the washing process. If you’re running low on machines and your reds are a bit old, you can toss them in with the darks. Just remember, with the tuition we’re paying, there should be enough machines available! And don’t settle for silly classes like “The Art of Cheese” or something equally ridiculous. Keep your priorities straight—focus on your education!
- Whites: Time to tackle the whites! Set the water temperature to hot, repeat the washing steps, and add a bit of bleach for freshness. While we’re talking about hot things, remember that your main job is to get that education. Prioritize school, then have fun. And please, for the love of all that is good, steer clear of the wild party scene. If you’re going to indulge, stick to the classics—good ol’ weed is probably the safest bet.
- Drying Round Two: Finally, for the items that can go in the dryer, combine them into one load. Set it to medium or low heat (no need to dry them on high, or you’ll feel like you’ve packed on the Freshman 15 already). Press start and you’re done!
Just a few quick reminders: Wash your towels every few days, and your sheets at least once a week—don’t let it slide longer than that; it’s just gross. Maybe pick up some dryer sheets too. And as any adult will tell you, enjoy this time because it won’t last forever!
Love, Your Favorite Parent