5 Life Lessons from My 20s That I Still Cherish

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Hey there! So, I was running errands the other day when I tuned into a classic rock station. I nearly fell off my chair when I heard Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam belting out “Even Flow.” Seriously, when did ’90s grunge music become “classic rock”? I mean, shouldn’t they be spinning Led Zeppelin and the Rolling Stones instead? I guess that means I’m officially part of the classic club. It’s a little amusing—I don’t feel older, except maybe when I overindulge in wine and need a three-day recovery, while my younger self could bounce back in a matter of hours.

As I approach 39, I can’t help but reflect on my past, especially after crying into my drink in New Orleans on my 30th birthday. If I survived that, I’m sure I can handle turning 40! While I may not feel older, I definitely feel wiser. There are five important lessons from my late teens and 20s that I carry with me into this new decade, and here they are:

1. You Don’t Have All the Answers
   In my late teens, I thought I was a know-it-all about everything—relationships, jobs, and life choices. I wish someone had told me that there’s no way to know everything. Sometimes, the best lessons come from experiences, not textbooks. This is something I keep in mind as I’m working on my PhD.
2. It’s Okay Not to Have a Plan
   We often pressure young adults to have their whole lives mapped out. Good grades, college, marriage, kids—the whole shebang! But life isn’t so rigid. During my career journey, I learned that it’s perfectly fine to switch paths and embrace new opportunities as they arise.
3. Embrace Your Body
   I’ve struggled with body image for years, especially in my early 20s. I wish someone had encouraged me to love my body instead of suggesting diets. I started a habit of looking in the mirror and finding three things I love about myself. It’s a simple yet powerful exercise that has really shifted my perspective.
4. Spend Wisely
   Like many, I learned the value of a dollar as a teenager. I worked hard to afford trendy clothes, but by 25, I realized I had little to show for all my spending—just a closet bursting with clothes and 75 pairs of shoes! Becoming a parent taught me the difference between needs and wants in a much clearer way.
5. Know the Difference Between Risks and Foolishness
   We’ve all heard the saying: no risk, no reward. True, but there are risks that cross the line into stupidity. For example, wandering alone in unfamiliar cities or driving after a few drinks. I got lucky and made it through my 20s relatively unscathed, but I’ve learned that real risks can be about growth, not recklessness.

After spending a ton of time mentoring young adults, I realize that some lessons just can’t be taught; they have to be experienced. I know I’ll need a lot of patience (and maybe some wine!) when my daughter hits her 20s. But for now, I appreciate the wisdom that comes with age.

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In summary, going through your 20s is tough, but it’s also a time filled with invaluable lessons that shape who you become. Embrace the journey, and don’t forget to love yourself along the way.