The Stay-at-Home Mom Challenge

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If you’re a stay-at-home mom with little ones under the age of 5, you totally understand the struggle.

Spending all day at home can be tough. You’re constantly trying to keep your cool, maintain your patience, and somehow check off at least one item from your endless to-do list without turning your house into a disaster zone. Just when you think you’ve got a handle on things, your toilet overflows right after you load the last dish into the dishwasher. Or your toddler decides to send all the freshly folded laundry flying onto the floor moments after you finished.

It’s a relentless battle to juggle household tasks while also carving out meaningful moments with your kids. I’m fed up with those who question how I spend my days. Those adults who escape to their workplaces, surrounded by colleagues that don’t throw tantrums or need diaper changes, have no idea how easy they’ve got it. Yes, I said easy.

To those who underestimate stay-at-home moms, I present to you the Stay-at-Home Mom Challenge. But here’s the catch: you won’t be doing this at home. No, you’ll be attempting this at your office. For the sake of clarity, let’s say your name is…Jim.

Here are the rules of the challenge:

You have three employees, whom we’ll call Number 8, 9, and 10. You cannot fire them. They must stay with you in the office at all times. You also cannot use any profanity. Your mission consists of three simple tasks:

1. Make a five-minute phone call.
2. Type, print, and present a document during a meeting with five people while your employees are in the room.
3. Keep your office, the bathroom, and one meeting room tidy throughout the day.

Are you ready? Go!

You’ll kick off your day feeling energized and perhaps a bit overconfident. You settle your employees in a meeting room with a straightforward task. As you leave, they appear quiet and compliant. You step into your office, sit down at your desk, and are about to start typing when suddenly you hear, “JIIIIIM! LOOK AT WHAT NUMBER 10 DID!!!”

You rush back to the meeting room to find chaos. Your meeting is in an hour, and you’ve got to clean up quickly, move the markers out of reach, and get your other employees back on track. You return to your office, only to be interrupted again.

You’re three sentences into your document when you hear, “JIM! SHE DID IT AGAIN!!!” Back to the meeting room you go. In your haste, you forgot about the plants you left behind. You remove those and turn on the TV, hoping to distract them. “Just watch a show and keep quiet,” you instruct as you return to your office.

Miraculously, you manage to type your entire document without interruption! But as you take a moment to breathe, you need to use the restroom. Sneaking past the meeting room, you peek in and realize it’s a disaster zone.

Remember, you can’t curse (out loud) and you must choose your words carefully. The stakes are high because your presentation is in ten minutes, and you’re running out of time. You quickly shove your employees back into your office, lock the meeting room, and move them to another area as far apart as possible.

You rush back to grab your document, but find Number 10 has turned herself into a walking art project. There’s no time to fix it now; you start your presentation while Number 10 tries to pull your pants down, Number 8 wails over a smudged nail polish, and Number 9 oscillates between picking his nose and misbehaving.

You desperately need a break. You haven’t even used the bathroom yet, and the first meeting room is still a mess. On top of that, you still have that phone call to make. And then it hits you—you need to poop.

You tell the kids they can play on the computer for a bit. “Where are you going?” they all ask. You deflect, “Just play, I’ll be right back.”

Once in the bathroom, you shut the door, sighing as you sit down. Three seconds later, you hear frantic knocking. “Jim? JIM! Are you in there? Can I come in? ARE YOU POOPING?!”

You give up and let them in. They’re curious as ever, asking about everything. Once you’re finished, you herd them back into your office and promise a big reward if they behave while you make that phone call.

You dial the number and head out into the hallway, only to be bombarded with shouts of, “JIM! Who are you talking to? Can I say hi?!”

Maintaining your cool is crucial, so you apologize to your important client on the line and quickly drag your employees back into your office. You threaten them with the most tedious chores imaginable and slam the door, hoping they’ll listen now.

After finishing your call, you return to the office, expecting to see them obediently waiting. Instead, you find the mess they created. But don’t worry; it’s almost 10:00! You’ve got seven hours left until you can call it a day.

Unless, of course, you’re a stay-at-home mom, then this is your life 24/7.

For more insights on this journey of motherhood, check out this article and learn about the many aspects of home insemination. If you’re interested in tools to help, Make A Mom offers a great selection of home insemination kits. Additionally, UCSF’s fertility page is an excellent resource for anyone exploring pregnancy options.

Summary

The Stay-at-Home Mom Challenge humorously illustrates the chaotic yet rewarding life of a stay-at-home mom. It outlines the challenges faced daily while trying to manage tasks and care for children, all while maintaining composure and sanity.